Discomfort Equals Freedom
8 steps to personal liberation.
Aziz Gazipura is an author, social skills teacher, and confidence coach. His work has affected countless people around the world, through his books, events, and mastermind program.
I’ve been learning from him ever since 2014 when he published his first book — ‘The Solution to Social Anxiety’. Since then he has published a number of incredible books, including ‘Not Nice’, ‘On My Own Side’, and ‘100 Wins in 100 Days.’ All of his books are powerful, but if you’re looking for one to start with, ‘Not Nice’ was especially useful.
Recently I had the opportunity to dive deeper into his world by attending the Liberate Yourself event he hosted in Vancouver, Washington— a beautiful city just across the river from Portland.
Entering the hotel on the first day, I started a few conversations that quickly flamed out. As the other attendees were excitedly chatting amongst themselves, I realized how much I needed an event to teach me how to connect with people and build relationships. Fortunately, I was in exactly the right place.
Here’s what I learned on the first day of the event:
1. Decide What It Means To Liberate Yourself
What does ‘liberation’ mean for you? What would you do if you were unconstrained by self-doubt or societal programming?
Liberation is an endless process of personal evolution. No matter where you’re starting out, there’s always room to grow. Start by deciding where you want to go.
Choose your endpoint and move towards it. Consistently challenging yourself and consciously changing are steps on the path of liberation.
2. What Counts Is How You Show Up in Life
How you show up in life is the most important factor. Showing up with energy and love can transform your experience of daily life.
Live your life with enthusiasm and receive every moment with gratitude. That’s the foundation for building an incredible life.
You can have extraordinary circumstances and still feel terrible if you don’t appreciate what you have. On the other hand, an average day can be incredible if you show up with enthusiasm and gratitude.
The fundamental difference between a happy life and a miserable one is your perception of everything that happens.
3. Don’t Stay in a Cage
We don’t put ourselves in a cage. Societal conditioning and parental guidance build our mental prisons. It’s our responsibility to free ourselves from the constraints they put on our thoughts and behavior.
Staying in the cage keeps you from authentically expressing your thoughts and feelings. It prevents you from being your true self.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” — Marianne Williamson
There is no jailer keeping you in the cage. You’re the only one holding yourself back from true freedom. You can choose not to listen to the voice of self-doubt anymore. But you have to make that choice every day.
When you doubt whether the change is worth the effort, keep the alternative in mind. You may be scared of the pain involved in changing. But the pain of not changing is far worse.
4. Decide To Change
How eager are you to change? Have you reached a point in life that’s so painful that you need to change? Or, are you just coasting through your life?
Change is hard, and it takes determination and fortitude. Habits are built over time, and liberation is no different.
An event like Liberate Yourself can be rocket fuel for your transformation, but you need to keep going after the event ends.
You can’t show up to an event and instantly transform your life. It takes constant work and consistent effort to liberate yourself.
5. Practice Facing Rejection
When you step outside your comfort zone and start taking action, things won’t go smoothly. You’ll face a ton of rejection as you try to move forward.
Just relax, accept, and feel your discomfort. Don’t hide it or run from it. You must be willing to experience pain in order to make progress.
Learn to heal from rejection quickly instead of letting a single failure deter you from trying again. Keep facing your fears until they hold no power over you.
6. Discomfort Equals Freedom
You may have heard ‘Discipline Equals Freedom’, the catchphrase of Jocko Willink. It’s certainly true, but why does discipline equal freedom? Something is missing from that equation.
What’s missing is discomfort. The reason discipline leads to freedom is that discipline means being able to face discomfort. The more disciplined you are, the more discomfort you can handle.
Discomfort is what really creates freedom. Doing things that feel uncomfortable is how you expand your comfort zone. Eventually what once felt uncomfortable becomes automatic.
That’s when you raise the bar, find a new source of discomfort, and take action. Keep repeating this process and your life will change completely. All it takes is the willingness to face discomfort and keep moving forward.
7. Maximize The Mind-Body Connection
Expressing energy through your body is the quickest way to get your whole being into an energized state.
There are countless ways this effect can be activated. Yoga can make you more embodied. Breathwork can increase your level of presence.
Turn your enthusiasm up to 11. Do jumping jacks. Dance like a crazy person. Scream ‘YES!’ at the top of your lungs.
It sounds cheesy, but it really works. Your mind and body are connected. Changing how you behave will change how you feel.
8. Do Whatever It Takes
Your level of commitment determines how far you’re willing to go to achieve a goal. You must increase your level of commitment in order to succeed in your aims.
Aziz teaches that there are 5 levels of commitment:
Level 1: Ambivalence (‘I don’t care’)
Level 2: Desire (‘I want it’)
Level 3: Attempt (‘I’ll try’)
Level 4: Willingness (‘I’ll do my best’)
Level 5: No Matter What (‘I’ll do whatever it takes’)
At level 5, you don’t settle for doing your best. You either achieve your goal or you don’t. There are no excuses.
When you hit obstacles, you go through them. There is no option to turn back or give up. You just keep going until you find a way to make it work. This is the level where incredible accomplishments are created.
Liberation Is Worth the Effort
So, how do you liberate yourself? The easiest way is to learn with other people who are on the same journey.
Trying to do it alone is like learning how to play Tennis by yourself. It’s tougher, less effective, and less fun than practicing with others.
The event with Aziz was incredible and these takeaways are just a fraction of what I learned there. The cost of the trip was well worth it, and I’m glad I made the trek to Vancouver to experience it.
If you liked this article, check out Aziz Gazipura’s books and events. Let me know which lessons resonated with you in the comments below!
