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How Assumptions Keep Us Stuck
And what to do about it
Understanding Assumptions
Assumptions are the root of disagreements, causes of conflict, and the expected truth without evidence.
We all have assumptions, but how do we stop them from overtaking and causing problems throughout our lives?
In life, assumptions can have damaging effects if not recognized for what they are: observations, beliefs, feelings, and thoughts about something or someone. This may make them inaccurate.
People often make assumptions based on race, location, and environment. For instance, someone wearing glasses might be seen as a nerd or geek. Similarly, someone who was a jock in high school might not be considered the most brilliant student in their class.
What about our assumptions of spouses, children, friends, community, neighbors, and strangers?
The neighbor is lazy because he doesn’t work full-time, the husband has to be having an affair because he is never home, or the children misbehave because they are not getting enough attention at home.
I could go on and on…, but the fact is that assumptions are trouble and will wreak havoc if we let them.
Those very same assumptions build and build until they become how we identify someone else. We stop seeing the person or place the way they are because of assumptions.
We turn our noses up, stop speaking to them, gossip, whisper, and spread lies, and eventually, this starts to affect someone’s whole identity.
This is hurtful, rude, and disrespectful to ourselves and others. We stop empathizing and seeing each other as humans.
For instance, that lazy neighbor isn’t lazy — he has a health condition that stops him from working full-time. Now, he can’t find more work because everyone in town thinks he’s lazy.
The misbehaving children are misbehaving because something is not right at home. The parents are not parenting as they should.
Now, they have trouble making friends, are talked about, pointed out, and act out even more. When in reality, they are acting out because of behavioral disorders.
