Raw and Real: How I Felt Each Day Writing the Manuscript of My Debut Book
Documenting the emotional roller coaster of pursuing one’s dreams and passions
I recently completed writing the manuscript of my debut book, to be published in the Spring of 2024.
I knew that this journey would be one filled with emotions, as I rode the roller coaster of self-doubt, excitement, annoyance, fear, and happiness, I documented it all.
These are the raw, real, and unfiltered emotions I felt every day while writing the manuscript of my first book.
Let this be a testament that chasing your dreams isn’t easy, nor is it a linear path to success.
But every emotion I felt along the way was worth it because by the end of it, I had something to be proud of.
*Note: these entries were typically written directly after completing a writing session for my book
September 12th at 8:12 a.m.
*Stares at blank Google Doc*
Oh my gosh, this is so intimidating. Can I actually do this? What have I gotten myself into…
September 13th at 4:50 p.m.
Feeling good about writing. Got a lot done today and am feeling very hopeful. Outlines suck…I’m better at writing without one. Is that bad?
September 14th at 9:32 a.m.
Just got done writing 1300 words. Pretty sure I hate all of them.
September 19th at 11:51 a.m.
It felt like pulling teeth writing today. Also, I accidentally missed a few days of this ‘sentence per day’ thing. I won’t miss anymore.
September 20th at 4:45 p.m.
I’ve made it this far with only writing 400 words. It has been such a tough writing day.
September 21st at 8:29 p.m.
Today was an okay writing day. I wrote fast but this chapter has just not been flowing for me. Will be excited to move on and start writing something new.
September 22nd at 5:11 p.m.
A really good writing day, the words are just flowing out of my brain, to my fingertips, the keyboard, and finally to my precious audience.
September 23rd at 3:17 p.m.
JUST A GREAT DAY OF WRITING OKAY? I JUST LOVE IT!
September 24th at 2:50 p.m.
I wrote today and met my word goal but I’m just so tired haha. Needa take a rest.
September 25th at 4:35 p.m.
Today was a great writing day. I’ve officially been writing my book for 14 days and I’ve written over 17,000 words for it!
September 26th at 9:54 a.m.
This is the first time I’ve teared up writing my book. Was writing about something that I went through in life- crazy how it impacted me so much that it caused me to get watery eyes just writing about it.
September 27th at 11:45 a.m.
I’m taking a day off from writing. I’m three days ahead of schedule and I don’t want to get too far ahead. Instead, I’m going to get back into the minds of my readers and try to identify their problems.
September 28th at 5:56 p.m.
Just finished writing the required 900 words per day. Feeling a little defeated, not going to lie- I read the introduction of two NYTBS and my introduction and wasn’t feeling so great…
September 29th at 11:54 a.m.
Despite the lack of confidence I faced last night, I haven’t let it impact me today which is good. I’ve written over 2k words so far and hope to get more in after work tonight.
September 30th at 4:34 p.m.
Lots of writing today- blog posts, chapter 6, tweet threads, etc. But the best thing I did was rewrite my intro and add more depth. I did this because I read the introduction of two NYTBS and recognized what I had to fix to be better.
October 2nd at 10:50 a.m.
Today has been a good writing day so far. I didn’t write yesterday so I have some ‘catch up’ that I need to do but I think I should be good to be on track. I will say, the writing group I’m a part of had a call today and everyone was really questioning their writing and their voice etc etc. It made me question whether or not I should be questioning my own writing more or not. Like, am I just so engrossed in this that I can’t even take a step back and see whether or not I’m actually doing this well? Because so many people are doubting themselves and I’m just not…
October 3rd at 5:44 p.m.
I feel more confident about my writing after what I wrote today. It felt very natural and I was able to tell a few personal stories which helped.
October 4th at 3:21 p.m.
My mind feels clouded today. It feels very jumbled and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve written in so many chapters and edited various things today that I’m feeling that way but I feel like I can’t see the big picture of my book and that’s really preventing me from feeling good about things.
October 5th at 11:00 p.m.
I was feeling EXTREMELY discouraged today and didn’t even know if I was going to write, honestly. But then my little brother walked into my room at 8:30 p.m. and said “I have an essay for school to write. We’re going to write together.” And sure enough, I met my word count goal for today, even if I only had an hour to spare. I’m so thankful he helped encourage me and I feel really good about the progress I made today.
October 6th at 12:09 p.m.
The strategy of going back and editing/completing each chapter is working really well. I feel more clear about the book overall and confident in the direction things are going and how it’ll all come together.
October 7th at 8:13 p.m.
Just another successful day of writing. IDK I must write at least 5k words per day so honestly I just be doin the same dang thing.
October 8th at 11:09 a.m.
I’m completely rewriting a chapter which makes it feel as though I am going backwards but I know this needs to be done in order to make my book the best it can be…
October 9th at 4:30 p.m.
Today has just been kinda blah…words and ideas aren’t really coming to me. It’s important that I hit certain word counts every day but I don't want to be writing absolute nonsense when I’m feeling this blah kinda way…
October 10th at 11:04 a.m.
Same thing, different day.
October 11th
Didn’t write today. I just can’t, I’m not in the mental space to so I’m just going to take a day off.
October 12th at 3:56 p.m.
Today is a much better day than the past two have been. I’ve gotten a lot done both with writing and outside of writing. I’ve spent the past 8 days editing and I’m almost finished and then I’ll be able to write new material which is always more enjoyable.
October 13th
I didn’t write again today…this week has been brutal in terms of motivation and wanting to write
October 14th at 5:30 p.m.
Just finished writing for the day- I’m 64 words short of my daily word count goal but that’s okay. It’s awesome that I have so many blog posts that are already written about topics in my book because then I can just use them or ideas from them for chapters.
October 15th at 7:23 p.m.
Late writing day today. Again, didn’t feel like it but glad I still did it anyway.
October 16th
I’m sick, terribly sick…so I didn’t write today
October 17th
Writing for my book today consisted of compiling Medium articles I’ve already written for a chapter. It’s really awesome that there are some things I’ve already written about on Medium that pertain to my book that I can use- super cool!
October 18th at 8:42 p.m.
Just finished writing chapter 10! Will start chapter 11 tomorrow- as of right now, I have a total of 13 chapters for the book including one bonus chapter. I’m in the home stretch!
October 19th
Just keep writing…just keep writing…
October 20th at 8:01 p.m.
Spent over six hours at the local Starbucks writing. ’Twas productive.
October 21st at 11:11 p.m.
20 more days until my manuscript is due!!!
October 25th at 4:27 p.m.
The past few days have just been weird. I only have one more chapter to write in my book and I’ve just felt stuck like my feet are cemented to the floor and I can’t write. I was a writing machine up until the last chapter and bam I just fell off the face of the writing earth. I don’t know if it’s because I’m sad the book is ending or because I know the whole writing the manuscript has been the easiest part and now I’m going to have to edit and come up with a title and cover design, etc etc or what but man. The good news is that I started the last chapter today, wrote about 1400 words and I edited chapter 7 too. I have the rest of the 15 days until my deadline planned out to a T so I can make sure I hit my goal.
October 28th at 9:45 p.m.
Productive writing day, but I’m really exhausted.
October 29th at 1:45 p.m.
I’m really anxious right now. I have 12 days to finish my book which means writing the intro, a bonus chapter, and editing everything. I am so anxious, I’m really doubting my ability now. Idk I just gotta push through…it’s really all I can do.
October 30th at 10:32 p.m.
May your dreams be bigger than the obstacles you face…
October 31st at 9:06 p.m.
I just finished a 6 hours writing grind session. I’m really exhausted yet simultaneously energized about everything I just accomplished. We are now just NINE days away from submitting my draft to my editor…INSANE LETS GOOOO
November 1st at 8:39 p.m.
I’m feeling really good. I made some vital changes to the beginning chapters that were suggested by my beta editor that I think really enhanced the chapters. I also finally fingered out the direction of chapter 11 just was really giving me a headache. I feel like I ended on a good note today and am excited to see what the next 8 days look like. We’re in crunch time.
November 3rd at 10:32 p.m.
Been a long day, my eyes hurt
Not much happening…just a lot of editing
November 4th at 3:45 p.m.
Just got done working at Starbucks for 7 hours. Got a lot of editing done and am feeling pretty good about the progress I’ve made.
November 5th at 1:23 p.m.
Guess what?! I’m still editing…no surprise there.
November 7th at 5:04 p.m.
Just finished editing my manuscript! The last chapter def needs more work but I’m almost ready for the editor on Friday:)
November 8th at 8:10 p.m.
I prepped everything today for the meeting with my editor on Friday. I’m definitely getting nervous about someone else reading my manuscript. My worst fear is that they say the manuscript doesn’t make sense as a whole, or that I’m not explaining things in a way that’ll connect with the audience. I’m actually really scared of them editing my manuscript haha. But at the end of the day, I know getting professional feedback will only make my writing better and stronger. And, if I want to be a multi-published author, I’m going to need to get used to getting feedback from the editor.
November 9th at 10:23 p.m.
I am….horrified. I feel like I’m going to throw up and I’m only giving my manuscript to my editor, not even receiving any feedback. I don’t know why I feel so nervous. I really feel like I’m absolutely delusional sometimes. Like who am I to think, at 23 YEARS OLD, I can write and publish a book?! I can’t believe I’m doing this. The self-doubt really is talking right now. I know I’ll be okay and I know that this is only the beginning of my writing and authoring journey but wow. I am scared. I don’t even know if any of this will work out…
