The Paradox of Modern Mentorship
Everyone says to find your niche, but what if that’s exactly why you need a mentor?
Do you know what fascinates me the most?
In my journey through life and career, I’ve become captivated by a particular phenomenon: those who claim to have a mentor.
Their work speaks volumes — they excel in their fields, demonstrating a level of expertise and confidence that seems almost unattainable.
Not everyone admits it openly, but in close-knit communities, they often confess to having a trusted guide, someone who has guided them through the twists and turns of professional growth.
I too with this hope searched places to get one. But no luck.
Everything I encountered was too generic, a one-size-fits-all approach that left me feeling more lost than guided.
Every webinar, workshop, and call I have attended starts with the same mantra:
“Find your niche.”
But herein lies the paradox —
If I knew my calling, would I be searching for a mentor in the first place?
When I voice this concern, the response is always the same:
“Only you can find your niche.”
It’s a frustrating cycle, leaving me stuck at square one while the rest of the “tailored” advice becomes irrelevant. How can I move forward when I can’t even find the starting line?
My First Encounter: An Unexpected Guide
In school, our interests evolved as we explored diverse subjects. Science fascinated me initially, but as it branched into physics, chemistry, and biology, chemistry took the lead.
Mathematics remained a constant favourite, with English literature as a secret love!
My math teacher, unknowingly, became my first mentor. He recognised each student’s strengths, making our classes enjoyable and effortless. This experience set a high bar for what mentorship could be — personalised, encouraging, and transformative.
First Day Jitters: The Mentor I Wished For
When I started my job, I expected comprehensive training before facing the public. But it was nothing like that on my first day.
On my first day, the counter was overwhelmed with customers. I was unable to cope with so much rush. My supervisor asked me to step back and observe from behind.
Initially, I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me, questioning my capabilities.
However, as days passed and I repeated the same process, a transformation began. From nervously stumbling through conversations to confidently guiding customers, my journey began.
I learned on the job how to handle the public through observation and experience.
When new colleagues asked for help, I laid out my entire plan and shared my learnings, determined to give them a head start.
I wanted their starting line to be a little ahead of where mine had been.
While I had received some guidance from seniors in the beginning, I felt a disconnect. Many spoke from their current stage, overlooking the beginner’s perspective.
True mentorship, I believe, should start from ground zero, understanding and addressing the novice’s mindset. It’s about meeting people where they are, not where you think they should be.
Is the Perfect Mentor a Myth in Modern Days?
In ancient times, warriors had Gurus who played pivotal roles in their journeys. We admire these warriors for their decision-making, bravery, and wisdom — traits refined by their mentors, much like how a sword is sharpened.
Today, however, we seem to have adopted a new mantra: try-fail-repeat. And if you’re lucky enough and all the factors align —
-right niche
-right clarity
-right connections
-right circumstances
-right family support
-right place at the right time
-and of course a bit of luck
You find YOUR SUCCESS, and then a new challenge emerges —
Maintaining that success.
The journey and struggles are ultimately our own, but in a world that champions the “try-fail-try again” approach, I can’t help but wonder:
Are we missing the guiding companion that could make all the difference? Is it possible to find a mentor who not only points the way but walks beside us, helping us navigate the complexities of personal and professional growth?
Reimagining Mentorship
Perhaps the solution lies in redefining mentorship for the modern age. Instead of seeking a single, all-knowing guide, we might benefit from cultivating a network of mentors — each offering unique insights and support for different aspects of our journey.
The key is to become intentional in our relationships, seeking wisdom from those we admire and sharing our own experiences with those who follow. As we grow and learn in our personal and professional lives, let’s remember the value of guided wisdom.
While self-discovery is crucial, having one or several mentors can provide the perspective, encouragement, and accountability needed to truly flourish.
The challenge is finding the right balance between independence and guidance, between forging our own path and learning from those who have gone before us.
In the end, perhaps the true essence of mentorship lies not in finding the perfect guide, but in cultivating our own ability to learn, adapt, and grow.
As we navigate our paths, we may find that the most profound mentorship comes from unexpected sources — our peers, our challenges, and even our failures.
The mentor we’ve been seeking might just be the person we’re becoming.
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Thank you for your time. Much appreciated.
