Why It’s Important to be Mindful of Who We Surround Ourselves With
Identifying the people who energize us and those who drain us.
Recently, I read a quote that said, “The people we spend most of our time with shape who we are.” My initial thought was: “Damn, I’m screwed.”
“What if these people are my complete opposites, not just in terms of trivial preferences like tea vs. coffee, but in terms of my deepest values and beliefs?”
If someone enjoys having a nice non-judgmental chat with a friend to share ideas and life experiences during the weekend, then talking to someone who just wants to gossip for two hours can feel draining.
This also happens in workplaces. Some people may want to focus on work, while others want to take longer smoking breaks or do other non-work-related activities.
“People inspire you, or they drain you — pick them wisely.”
— Hans F. Hansen
A lightbulb moment that helped me recognise the problem 💡
I began to feel disconnected from myself, so I randomly scheduled a call with someone I found interesting on Twitter. With no expectations or preparations, I hopped on the call and, to my surprise, ended up having a wonderful conversation.
As an introvert, this was a big deal for me because talking to a stranger for 35 minutes felt as refreshing as drinking a big glass of iced tea on a hot summer morning.
This was what I was missing. I had not had such a fruitful conversation with anyone in a long time. A simple conversation reminded me of plans I had made before I got lazy and I felt pumped after the call to hit my next milestone.
To achieve great success, you need to be around people who inspire and challenge you. It may not be easy, but it’s worth it.
Identify who you spend time with
Tony Robbins talks about the four types of people that are good to have in your inner circle when you need to surround yourself with positivity.
- Smart people. Surrounding yourself with people who are smarter than you will push you to always keep learning and to stay curious.
- Hard workers. The hunger of a hard worker inspires everyone around them to do more, be more, and achieve more.
- Dreamers and visionaries. The world needs dreamers as much as it needs doers. The visionary in your circle is the one who will entertain your wildest ideas and always encourage you to chase your dreams.
- Positive thinkers. Nobody is happy all the time, but some people view obstacles as opportunities, while others see them as roadblocks. When the situation becomes difficult, you want to be around people who think positively.
Evaluate your relationships
Pause for a moment and think about the top five people you spent most of your time with.
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with them.
If you find yourself feeling upset, drained, or unsure of yourself, it may be a sign that these individuals are not adding value to your life.
Conversely, if you feel happy, loved, and supported, then it’s a clear indication that these are the people who bring out the best in you and with whom you should spend more time.
Conclusion
- Take the time to evaluate your relationships and ensure that you’re spending time with the right people.
- Let go of negative relationships to free yourself and focus on what really matters to you.
- When it comes to your inner circle and workplace, surround yourself with a mix of smart people, hard workers, dreamers, and positive thinkers.
Want to identify your self doubts and things that are keeping you from living your ideal life? Book a free discovery call with me.
