Your Enemy Is All You Need to Listen to
They are the one who confronts your personal defects.
Each person has encountered individuals they might consider as 'adversaries' at some point in their lives. Childish stuffs, yea.
Depending on the situation, those individuals will either become your enemy or, interestingly enough, transform into Trustworthy friend! For instance, I once crossed paths with an individual and we became enemies at first sight.
This year, we just celebrated our ongoing 10-year long friendship!
Not everyone who despises you for your attachment to your Beliefs and ideology are enemies.
My childhood was the same as everyone else. Some random day you encounter a rando in your circle who is a total dick. Sometimes you just want to shut them down for a while. So, I did. I got the upper hand. Made him look like a clown in front of everyone. I know, I should have had a more charitable response.
Well basically I didn’t, because:
I had pride and ego. I was soaking good in the feeling of being right. I was so sure of myself that I felt like whatever I was doing was the right thing. So, at that time no little time was allocated to try feeling empathy towards the other side. These two things inflate the act.
- Ego never aids to conflict resolution. And,
- Pride never promotes empathy.
Sometime, last month I was on a bus going somewhere and an enthusiastic senior citizen came and sat beside me. We had some small talks and out of nowhere, we had a small bonding session! He then began to tell me…
“It is easy to get caught in our own echo chambers. When we’re growing up, you should listen and understand opposing beliefs and ideas.”
I didn’t quite get it. Then he continued…
“keep your friends closer and enemies even more closer!”
Enemies have an extraordinary source of concrete facts about your-self. So, do this one for me now. When you had your conflicts before, try recollecting what was the core reasoning behind it. It could be you, why it all started at the beginning.
With a Shrek like confused face, I was about to interrupt him, and he quickly ended it by saying…
“True growth comes from exploring outside your own worldview.”
I didn't utter a single word.
Bus came to a stop; he left the bus with a smile.
I was so captivated that I didn’t give any head space for the painfully crowded one-hour long bus ride I was on. I’ve had countless convos with strangers, but this one shook me. I didn’t know such a thought process existed. Looking outside your belief system is what makes you grow!
He blew my mind with his perspective. I couldn’t believe how ignorant I was before. Felt betrayed.
Life strikes you up with some unexpected shots. Until that moment, what do you know? You might have had a few stepping-stones along the way, but other than that. You wouldn’t know anything until you’ve seen the belly of the beast! Now let’s talk about it.
how do we get out of our echo chambers?
You’re essentially surrounded by what you’ve opened up to. People always surround themselves with something that’s safe.
But, what’s more safer than your own Beliefs? What’s safer than your ideology? What’s more comforting than your own interests? The answer is nothing...
This is a basic human instinct. These things are natural, and it happen without us thinking about it. We are primal beings; we are hardwired to seek safety and comfort. But change is something that not everyone would favour when met.
For e.g. I didn’t know that I had to question my own belief system and ideologies.
The sooner you face reality, the sooner you react. Reality does not lie. We lie to ourselves.
Somehow if you got to know that you are in a huge sticky web, next is to find the core.
I got the answer for you, the Core = WHY. Friedrich Nietzsche said:
‘He who has a WHY to live can bear almost any HOW’
“Knowing the reason why, can prepare you to bear anything.”
Well, then let’s find the ‘Why’!
But hold on. Sadly, the ‘Why’ doesn’t show up to anyone immediately nor conveniently. So, whatever stage you are in, in your life. The type of people that you know, will help at any moment is friends and family.
Let's turn toward the ones that are near and dear to us. Friends! That must be easy nah…? Nope.
I'm just gonna break it to you harsh and quick:
Not all of your friends are willing to tell you the truth.
Some of your friends may sugarcoat things just because they don’t want you to feel hurt. Some friends want to bring positivity in others' lives. They don’t want to throw dirt up in that beauty, that is your friendship by saying some uncomfortable things about you.
They want to keep the smile going! Any good friend would do that! Wouldn’t you? So, they won’t utter a single word about your smallest flaws.
But Some would! Those are the gems. Trust me on this. You need to value those who dare to speak the ugly truths face to face.
I cannot place friendship in a box and label them in a stereotypical fashion. ‘Friendship’ is a spectrum. You cannot define it.
So right now instead of me, drilling you on what type of friends to find, I’ll however shed some advice on the type of friend you should be:
Be someone who helps them to look beyond their current viewpoint of the world. Seek out information that challenges or contradicts their existing beliefs and convey it to them in, the, most, calm & polite way possible!!!
Thats important.
In my life, I’m at this “You have no enemies” stage right now. I just have people that bug the hell out of me.
Your enemy is the person who is constantly tapping on opportunities to strike you in your weak points. He is always on the look out for critiquing your actions. He is the one person who you have to talk to. I mean!
He literally is there to hate on you with some solid evidence. All you have to do is. Listen… Listen closely to your enemy!
It is important to remember that the person who has to put up with our negative traits is not responsible for our own shortcomings.
Well… instead of just listening to your inner voice.
Hear what the outside view has to say!
Step out of your comfort zone!
Explore the unknown!Go outside!
Enemies can help you grow by exposing your flaws and challenging your beliefs. Maybe, perhaps your flaws are the reason they are your enemies! Enemies are the only peeps who can provide concrete facts and opposing views that you will never hear from anyone else.
Don’t let hate consume you, Give them a chance.
