Your Happiness Quest May End When You Know Where to Look
You’ll never find unshakable joy “out there”
We’ve all spent lots of time doing things to “enhance” the quality of our lives. It may be jumping on a new exercise routine. Or getting another degree.
We either diet, hustle to make more money, or do cosmetic surgery. And we’re attached to an outcome, believing that we’ll be happier after we’ve reinvented ourselves.
Typically, we wind up feeling disappointed. The results usually fall short of the happy ending we envisioned.
The endless loop of suffering is kept intact by our human tendency to seek happiness outside ourselves. We want others to lavish us with praise. Being ignored is painful. Then we compare ourselves to others — a cruel and punishing way to treat ourselves. Jealousy runs us into the hell of incessant suffering as we look at the Instagram posts of our friends living their best lives. Our deluded minds think our lives will never measure up to the world’s definition of success.
I found a quote from Eckart Tolle that beautifully points to the disorder — seeking happiness outside ourselves — and the solution — seeing with the eyes of wisdom.
Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer. — Eckhart Tolle
I’ve read this quote repeatedly, silently and out loud, for several years. The key to feeling that deep, solid peace Tolle is talking about, I think, is appreciation.
Learning how to love and accept ourselves as we are right now. Learning how to trust our instincts. Making a list of our outstanding and unique attributes is a great way to remind ourselves of how amazing we are.
The ultimate challenge is looking into a mirror and praising yourself with affirmations recognizing your power, beauty, wisdom, creativity, and courage — the best part of you. It’s a great exercise to firm up that muscle of unconditional happiness independent of external circumstances. Or on someone else telling you that you’re fabulous.
But it’s a practice. To strengthen the core of joy in our lives, we have to find a way to nurture ourselves with positive words instead of a barrage of criticism that can lead to inertia and despair.
Our environment will change for the better when we see the treasure we already possess. And the more we honor our own greatness and power, we develop the eyes to see and appreciate those beautiful qualities in the lives of others.
