You’re Not an Adult; You’re Only 18+
The harsh reality about adulthood
Before you clicked on the headline, I’m certain you believed you had been an adult since you were 18.
I was also told so before I was eighteen, and when I turned 18, I wore the garment of ‘adulthood.’
What if I told you were wrong?
What if I told you they were also wrong when they called me an adult?
A couple of times, I’ve seen “adults” in teens and “teens” in adults.
Adulthood isn’t just about the numbers; it's largely dependent on a lot of factors, including ways of reasoning, being fully responsible for your decisions, your discernment in various matters, and a whole lot more.
When I turned 17, I gradually became financially independent because my parents were financially incapable of catering to my needs.
My exposure to certain circumstances and various people made me realize a few facts about adulthood.
You’re the captain of your ship
At a point when I worked for my former boss, I gained admission and wanted to leave to begin my studies at the university. I was a faithful and loyal employee and contributed largely to the growth of the company.
Before I sat for the entrance exams into the university, I had discussed my plans with him, and he seemed happy with them. When I was admitted, I told him and also mentioned my plans to leave the city for my studies.
Surprisingly, he told me to let go of my plans to leave the city and make fresh plans to school in the city where his company was located so I could be within reach.
Well, as you would guess, I objected to this, and we had hitches.
I understood how important my studies were to me. I also understood how selfish he was to only care for himself and look out for the continuous growth of his company.
No one would think of ways to make your life better except you!
Until you realize this, you’re far away from adulthood. A special sense of responsibility follows this realization.
I know this sounds weird because normally, as humans, we are responsible for our thoughts and take our actions based on them.
I’m aware that we’re encircled by those who care about us, and their desires are for our well-being. They look out for opportunities to make us live a better life. Believe me, they won’t think for you!
But the harsh reality is that no one truly cares about you, no matter the relationship you establish with them.
Humans are naturally wired to be selfish and do anything they do for their interests first, then yours. Think about this!
Your parents are loving, and your siblings are too, but for every investment they make in you, they look forward to a return. There’s nothing wrong with this. It is human nature.
Until you come to this point where you realize you owe it to yourself to live the kind of life you desire, you wallow in the pool of immaturity and are distant from adulthood.
Many things happen upon realizing this. You step on people’s toes, relationships are broken, and sometimes enmity kicks in.
There’s truly no one to blame
Imagine if I had yielded to the desire of my boss, a lot of things would have happened.
Firstly, I would have been distracted and had my attention drifted from my studies. This would have led to poor grades and, in general, affected my overall performance at the university.
Apart from that, I may have had financial issues, as the school he desired I attend was more demanding financially than the choice of school I made.
Think about this! If any of these had happened, would I have held him responsible? NO
The results would have been mine forever. If I didn’t finish up, the blame would have been on me.
There’s absolutely no one to blame!
“I’m 50 but haven't made any achievements."
“My friends are doing well, but I am at rock bottom.”
The truth is, no matter where you are, your status, or your achievements (if any), you’re solely responsible, and there’s truly no one to blame if you’re not doing well.
The decisions you made in the past kept you where you are today, and the decisions you make today will keep you where you’ll be tomorrow.
Until you come to the realization of this, you’re yet to be welcome in the circle of adults.
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