How To Ask Better Questions in Political Discussions (With Examples)
It’s one of — if not the — most important practice that can improve your conversations
Ask questions to give people the opportunity to explore alternative modes of thinking.
Have you ever spoken to someone who you can tell, even as you are talking to them, is just waiting for their turn to speak?
You can usually see it on their face. A raised finger, a mouth poised to start their response, a chin lifted to indicate they are next in line. It can be demoralizing. After all, there’s no way they are actually listening to you.
Now picture the opposite.
Someone who is attentive, engaged, and who listens to understand — not just to respond. They are a person who is actually hearing your perspective all the way through. And, when you are done, they follow up with comments and questions to make sure they understood you correctly.
The difference is night and day.
Now, which would you rather be?
If you are anything like me, you lean towards the latter — which I presume you are considering you clicked on this article. However, being this type of person is harder than it seems. On the face of it, being an engaged listener and good conversational partner can seem like less work than constantly interrupting and dominating the conversation. But really, nothing could be further from the truth. It takes time and practice.
This article will give you a quick rundown of one key element to being this type of conversational partner: asking good questions. So, let’s jump right in…
Ask them often
Good questions don’t all have to be deeply philosophical challenges to your partner’s core belief system, nor do they all have to be pivotal ‘gotcha!’ moments in a heated debate either. Simply put, most good questions will help the other person a) feel understood, b) get their point across better. To that end, make sure you are asking small clarification questions often and in good faith.
Even if the perspective you are engaging with is antithetical to your own, making sure you understand it in the other person’s own terms means that you can better address its flaws later on.
Don’t only question to challenge ideas
Leading on from the last tip, make sure that your questions are not always geared towards undermining the person’s viewpoint — even when your aim is to do so. To that end, instead of always asking…
“Yes, but don’t you think X could be true?”
… try to reorient your approach. In a recent Reflect Structured Dialogue workshop I took part in, they gave us this line to consider:
Ask questions to give people the opportunity to explore alternative modes of thinking.
So, in practice, that would involve asking a question that gives your partner a chance to consider their idea/belief from another perspective, thus providing the opportunity for different modes of thinking.
Let’s say you are talking with someone who is strictly anti-police abolition about the high crime rates in communities of colour. Instead of bombarding them with statistics and policy points, perhaps ask:
“What do you think it would be like to live in a community where crime is extremely high?”
Get them to answer this question. Go through what feelings, experiences, and perspectives they might gain. From here, you can then weave back to your original discussion to see if any new insight has been gained.
This is something I tried recently with a stranger in a park, an experience you can read about here:
Ask for permission to paraphrase
This might seem like a strange one, but it serves two purposes:
Firstly, by asking to paraphrase you are making sure that they recognize you are trying to understand them. Sometimes simply paraphrasing can make you sound like a parrot, in which case the true intention behind doing so is missed. Once someone feels they are heard, they are far more likely to respond in kind.
Secondly, you are getting them to say yes. This is a well-established negotiation principle which shows that getting the person to say “yes” often makes them more likely to say yes to your overall offer. In the case of political discussions, there likely isn’t a “yes,” but there is still the potential for agreement. So, in our context, you are getting them to agree to something at least. From there, progress can be made and minds can be changed.
An example of this would be:
“Ok, do you mind if I summarize what I’m hearing at the moment?”
This might be one of the simplest yet most important questions you can ask, so use it wisely!
When stuck on ‘facts’, ask about values
Very often in political discussions, the dialogue can get bogged down in stats and figures. Each party in this case is trying to beat their opponents into submission with a wave of ‘objective facts’. This not only makes conversations very dry and frustrating, but it also prevents them from really getting anywhere, as you can be stuck in this type of back-and-forth for hours.
Fact ‘checking’ is important, attacking with facts is not.
So, when you feel yourself slowly slipping into this kind of conversational rut, shift the focus. Instead of simply pushing back with your own counter-information, bring it back to the human.
Let’s look at an example. Say we are again talking about police brutality in Black neighbourhoods. One person might say:
“Well, if you look at crime statistics, Black people committ disproportionately more crime so of course they will experience more policing.”
Now, you could talk about the legacy of slavery, red lining, and bad police training until you are blue in the face, and in some cases that might be necessary. However, as another option, you could ask:
“So do you feel that it’s an appropriate role for police to ‘punish’ citizens through heavy policing, or do you see that as them overstepping their role?”
We have now shifted the conversation away from who is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ about policing, and towards a discussion on our values towards appropriate policing.
A small change, yet one that could help create a more productive conversation.
Don’t plan your question too far in advance
A final tip would be this; don’t plan too far ahead. In heated discussions, especially those which have 3 or more participants, it can take a few minutes before you get a word in. In this time, multiple talking points will have passed that you might want to explore and question.
By holding on to that one question that you think will change the discussion, you could inadvertently disrupt the flow of conversation and derail the dialogue.
Instead, adapt. Listen to what is being said at any given time. If the conversation moves on, sometimes so must you. As yourself: who is this question trying to benefit? Is it me? The group? The respondent?
If it is only for your own sake, consider again if it really needs to be asked.
A perfect example of excellent questions:
Street Epistemology is a YouTube channel and passion project for Anthony Magnabosco. The central premise is that he talks to strangers on the street about their strongly held beliefs, and tries to see if he can change the degree to which they are certain about them.
He talks about all kinds of topics, but often they revolve around ideas held in faith. What he also does is put on an absolute masterclass of question-asking.
I would encourage anyone interested in learning to as better questions to review his website, on which he has posted a comprehensive document about his approach to these dialogues as well.
Now more than ever we need to take a long, hard look at the way we are doing politics. How we experience and engage with political issues is just as important — yet far less acknowledged — than simply the content of our political ideas. To read more on this topic, feel free to subscribe to Practicing Politics, a new publication looking at how it is we ‘do’ our politics…
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