Good Change Managers Don’t Expect to be Liked or Thanked
When handling rapid change you need to develop a thick skin, because you are unlikely to be liked or thanked by many of those directly affected…
The Big Picture
A judge in a courtroom knows that he or she will be thanked by one party, but is unlikely to be thanked by the losing party. When you are responsible for rapid change you need to develop a thicker skin, as you are unlikely to be openly valued by all those directly affected. Those whose jobs are at risk may see you as an ogre. To all those who face an uncertain future you will be an agent of doom and possible destruction. Some may see opportunities as a result of your actions and might even encourage you to be radical, but most are likely to keep their heads down.
Your bosses might thank you occasionally, but because of the weight of expectations on them they may forget to thank you as much as you would have liked. If the change for which you are responsible proves to be successful you may well receive accolades after the event. Even those who had feared a negative outcome for themselves might ultimately be grateful to you because the changes may have forced them to explore new horizons.
Most of us welcome the appreciation of others. When you are heavily involved in managing change you need to become less dependent on the approval of others.
A Practical Example
Alex had enjoyed a good rapport and banter with her colleagues. However, the relationships became more strained because people recognised the authority and responsibility that Alex now carried. Alex recognised she had to distance herself from her colleagues in order to be objective — and be seen to be objective — in her judgement. She knew that this role involved delayed affirmation. The thanks would flow when there was a successful outcome, but would be withheld in the short term. Alex recognised that one of the benefits of this role would be to force her to become less dependent on the approval of other people. She knew she had to develop a thicker skin and that this job would enable her to do so.
Tips
- Recognise the extent to which you are dependent on the approval of others.
- Accept that you will go through a period where affirmation is likely to be withheld.
- See this as a period when developing a thicker skin and being less in need of approval is in your interest.
- Do not allow limited appreciation from others to stop you from thanking others for their contribution.
