Managing Change? Manage Your Emotions First.
Emotions are a great strength at times, a liability at others. Managing them is crucial to making a success of challenging projects…
The big picture
Our emotions give us valuable data and early warning. When there is a touch of excitement we know that progress is possible. When we feel deflated we are conscious that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. When we have dialogue with another person we recognise that there is a prospect of purposeful engagement with a creative colleague. When there is frustration with an individual we recognise there is a risk of working to different agendas or on different timescales. It is always worth observing our mood and being aware what our emotions tell us about situations and people.
On the other hand our emotions can derail us. We may like someone a lot, which can mean we are not assessing what they say and do as objectively as we should. We may also have an aversion to another colleague, and therefore view their approach in a more negative way than is justifiable. We need to be able to raise an alarm bell in our head when there is a risk of an excessively positive or negative emotional reaction to an individual, affecting constructive progress and honest analysis of issues. Our emotions need to be both listened to and managed if they are going to be our biggest ally rather than a potential liability.
A practical example:
Alex recognised that she could have a negative emotional reaction to some situations and people. She knew she would not thrive if she let her emotional reactions overwhelm her.
Alex recognised that one of her staff annoyed her because of her tone of voice and tendency to criticise others. Towards the end of a day after a particular milestone had been reached Alex had an open conversation with this colleague about her reaction to other colleagues’ approaches. This conversation was helpful but did not change the situation fundamentally. Alex knew that she would need to manage her emotional reaction to this individual, or else a strain in their relationship could develop that would be detrimental to the project.
In practice, try this:
- Be deliberate in noting your emotional reactions to different people and situations.
- See your emotional reactions as providing you with valuable data while being wary about whether they are giving you misleading perspectives.
- Be willing to talk through your emotional reactions with individuals who generate unhelpful reactions within you.
