UDP Humor
What’s So Funny About the User Datagram Protocol?
One of the things I do these days is to sit down with Pragmatic Bookshelf authors and talk to them about technology. In my recent conversation with Karl Stolley, we got quite a bit off topic as we talked. Karl’s book, Programming WebRTC, is all about using the WebRTC standard for real-time communication between web applications and between web apps and mobile and desktop apps.
The technology underlying WebRTC is UDP, or User Datagram Protocol. It’s one of the Internet’s core protocols for communicating data. While UDP provides checks for data integrity, it is notorious in that it doesn’t guarantee delivery of data packets, let alone force an order in which those packets arrive.
Because of these traits, it is an absolute gem for jokes. Let me tell you one so you start to get the idea:
It’s your UDP flowergram! Happy Birthday! Who’s there? Knock knock.
During our conversation I absolutely deluged Karl with my favorites.
Me: So, what are your favorite UDP jokes?
Karl: My favorite UDP jokes? I mean, a funny thing about the WebRTC world is that we’ve got all of these acronyms and initialisms that sound offensive. One of them is SFU. Every time I see it I think somebody is insulting me, but it actually stands for selective forwarding unit. I don’t know that I have a UDP joke. I feel sad that I don’t have one.
Me: I’ll tell you some, and we don’t have to include it in the interview. I’ll stick it in a Medium article afterwards.
Karl: Okay.
So here I am in a Medium write-up, and here are four more of the jokes that I told Karl. He laughed. I hope you do too.
👻 Joke 1
I was recently invited to a costume party. I dressed up as a UDP packet but no one acknowledged me.
🍻 Joke 3
Three UDP packets walk into a bar. The first says, “I’ll have a beer, please.” The second says, “I’ll have what they’re having.” The third one says, “I’ll have a beer too.” And then the barman says, “Hi folks, what can I get you to drink?”
🤷♀️ Joke 2
You know the best part of UDP jokes? If the other person doesn’t get it, I don’t care.
So those are my go-to UDP jokes. Do you have any? Please share them in the comments.
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