Does Your Team Have Trust Issues?

Creating a culture of radical feedback — inspired by Kim Scott’s Radical Candor

Photo by Polina Zimmerman from Pexels

Do you find yourself consistently shocked when employees hand in their resignation? Are you experiencing undesired turnover in your team and, for the life of you, can’t figure out why? Do you hear crickets when you seek feedback from your direct reports?

You’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

At one point in my career, I lost sleep over my worries that my highest performing team members would abandon me in the moment I needed them most. I was completely in the dark about their real life goals. Not the ones written in their learning and development plan. I’m talking about the goals they don’t feel safe sharing with me because they fear how I might react.

I’ve also witnessed teams turnover at an obnoxiously high rate and wonder, why doesn’t their leader see what’s really going on? It seems obvious to everyone else, but them. How can they be so blind to what’s clearly not working? And then I think, CRAP — what’s MY team not telling me about MY blindspots?? That could be me one day…

These worries are far too common amongst leaders. They are symptoms of a culture that does not embrace direct feedback. This is because being direct is often equated as ‘not being nice’. Consequently, when direct feedback is given, even when done well, it’s seen as crude and is typically not well received.

So, what’s the alternative?

You dance around performance issues under the guise of ‘being nice’, hoping that the person will eventually read between the lines. Of course, this is rarely the outcome. In reality, the team begins to spiral down a path of dysfunction. Employee moral declines. People resign. And before you know it, you find yourself working until 10p.m. each night because it’s the only way to keep the broken train moving.

But what if I told you it didn’t have to be this way? That there was in fact a way to create safety in providing direct feedback? What if I told you that absence of direct feedback was causing more harm to your team than avoiding it because you want to ‘be nice’.

This is what Kim Scott calls creating a culture of radical candor.

THE POWER OF 1-ON-1s

Your 1-on-1s are your MUST DO meetings. Why? They create a space for you to understand the desired future direction of each person who reports to you, and what’s standing in their way. They provide you an opportunity to listen and clarify.

I know what you’re thinking…

“I can’t possibly handle MORE meetings!”.

Trust me, I hear that. Me too. Just hear me out.

Benefits of a 1-on-1

• Listening (like, really listening) is the FIRST step in understanding your role as a leader.
• Creating freedom of communication between you and your direct reports cultivates trust in your relationship and fosters a safe space.
• Learning about your direct reports’ interests, pain points and life goals in an enabler for understanding them on a deeper level — human being to human being.
• If done well, it will help you identify your own blindspots (and if you don’t think you have blindspots, that’s a blindspot!).
• Understanding your team’s pain points unlocks the door to innovation.
• 2-way feedback fosters a culture of growth and drives organizational success.

The most important thing to know about a 1-on-1 is that your direct reports are in the driver’s seat. Make this known up front. Request that they come prepared with an agenda and be responsible for scheduling future meetings. To help with this, I’ve provided a general framework to guide the conversation:

1. What are your challenges?

2. What are the opportunities?

3. What can I do to support you?

What a 1-on-1 is NOT

• An operational meeting: This is not the time or place for status updates. That’s what team meetings / scrums are for. Make this a sacred space for listening and receiving feedback. Any operational issues raised in the meeting must be driven by your direct report as something they wish to address — not the other way around.
• A performance review: Although you may provide feedback to your direct report in this space, this is not the primary purpose. The 1-on-1s are meant for you to be the receiver of feedback, not the other way around. Creating a safe space for your team will facilitate a culture where you can provide direct feedback to them in real-time.
• A chore: Kim warns against treating 1-on-1s as meetings. Rather treat them like a coffee or lunch conversation. Your 1-on-1s are an opportunity for you, as the supervisor, to learn. If you aren’t excited to learn, well… that’s a whole other can of worms.

How to start

• Set up a kick-off meeting with each direct report. Be clear on the purpose, the benefits and your expectations. Also use this as an opportunity explain what this space is not, and how this differs from other meetings.
• Provide additional guiding questions in advance that will support your first conversation:

1. What aspect of your role do you enjoy the most?

2. If you could change one thing about your role, what would it be?

3. What works for you in my approach to leadership?

4. What actions make you feel appreciated?

5. Do you have any highlights that you’d like to share from the last 6 months?

6. Is there anything that you look forward to in the next 6 months?

7. Is there anything that worries you about the next 6 months?

• Always check-in at the end of your meeting on how the conversation went. What aspects were valuable? What would they consider changing?
• Confirm the date and time of your next meeting. This is critical — especially at the beginning when building the foundation for this new format.
• Reiterate that the purpose of this meeting is to serve them. It is their responsibility to come prepared with an agenda and speaking points. Your role is to listen and clarify.

Common pitfalls

• It’s easy to hijack the meeting with your own agenda and insights. Don’t. This meeting is for your direct report to share with you, not the other way around.
• Cancelling meetings (or showing up late). This is an opportunity for you to show your team your commitment to their growth. It doesn’t matter how busy it gets, do not reschedule these meetings. I repeat, do not reschedule these meetings! You want your team to understand that they come first, and this is best demonstrated by your actions.
• Not being present or fully engaged in the meetings. Don’t multitask. In fact, close your inbox. Put your phone away. Remove other potential distractions. Give your direct report your undivided attention.
• Using this space as the only place you provide feedback to your direct report. Although it’s possible to offer feedback in your 1-on-1, it’s not the primary purpose. Feedback should be in real time. If you find this difficult, consider picking up a copy of Radical Candor.
• Falling off the bandwagon. This can very easily transpire — because work (life) happens. The solution? Always book your next 1-on-1 in advance of wrapping up your current meeting. Even better, have your direct report set them up as recurring meetings.

Know that it will take time for your teams to adjust to this new type of open and direct conversation. Building trust takes time. This is why your commitment is key.

Creating a culture of radical candor not only helps you identify issues that you may be unaware of, it empowers your team to innovate. It supports cultivating a culture of learning and development, thereby increasing employee engagement and driving organizational performance.