Let’s talk about stress: how we might weather the storms of student life
Let’s just put it out there: Singaporean youth, probably like many of their counterparts around the world, are a pretty stressed out bunch.
Even acknowledging the privileges many of us enjoy — not needing to worry being the primary breadwinner for our families, wondering where our next meal will come from, or other subsistence needs that our parents or grandparents may have worried about when they were our age — the future of our youth contains no less uncertainty, albeit of a different ilk. What constitutes a safe choice in an unpredictable world? Will I make less money if I choose not to go to university? Is a college education even necessary for what I want to do in the future? Will robots take over the jobs we were taught to want?
Even beyond school and careers, there’s no boundary on what can be a source of stress or anxiety, and the fact that stress can be induced by internal factors (like expectations, attitudes, or feelings rather than events or situations) makes it no less real. And while stress, to an extent, can spur productivity, it can also trigger action paralysis and potentially lead to some pretty serious health problems.
And yet, whether it stems from school, grades, work, our families, our smartphones, or ourselves — pretty much all of us will encounter stress whether we like it or not, and to a greater degree than is good for us. Equipping ourselves to deal with stress then is one of the best things we can do for our ourselves — so what might we do to manage our stress and anxiety better?
We thought to tap on the collective wisdom of the Praxium community — this is what they shared:
Chloe, 16:
“Because I had O levels this year I was super stressed because I felt like I was under-prepared. I had a really negative mindset, like I thought I was going to fail badly. So I talked to my friends and my cousin who’d just finished her N levels, and she reassured me and told me to just fully focus on my studies and that eventually the fear would subside.
I also listen to music and just zone out, or I’ll do something I like — such as video editing or photo editing, and I’ll take naps and eat comfort food.”
Pete, 23:
“If I’m stressed because I’m not doing things fast enough / not meeting self-set deadlines, I would tell myself its okay, I just do what I can and focus on moving. If I’m stressed because I’m comparing myself to others and thinking about how lousy I am, then I’ll just remind myself that comparison is largely pointless.”
Dora, 27:
“If I don’t have stress I won’t be able to do my work. When I’m stressed I do the most productive work, but it can also paralyze me. E.g. when I wrote my dissertation, I felt like I just couldn’t do it.
I think asking for help and reaching out to people is good— back then I would go over to my friend’s room in college to get work done and she would take care of me. I also like putting myself in a different environment — I wrote 50% of my dissertation when I was overseas travelling for 2 weeks.”
Pearl, 26:
“Back when I was studying — and even now as I’m working on my essay for my grad cert — I would always keep the final deadline in mind, and kind of set manageable word count targets to hit so I wouldn’t get too overwhelmed. Listening to music helps too!”
Here’s how others from our community cope with their stress:
- Playing a musical instrument
- Crying
- Crafting or sleeping
- Distract myself by learning something new
- Running
- Use Forest to keep focused and stay off my phone
- Eating ice cream
- Taking a break from social media
- Working out
- Calling a friend
- Take a walk
- Window shop at NTUC
- Do housework and clean my room
- Bought a puppy
However it’s important to clarify that there’s a difference between coping with stress and managing it, though both are important. While coping mechanisms might be liked to a bandaid to tide us over the rockiest parts of our journey, managing stress addresses how you relate to it, and is more sustainable in the long term. After all, there’s only so much ice cream you can eat!
While some stress is normal and even inevitable, if you find yourself with persistent headaches, depression, or regularly unable to sleep — it’s probably time to explore making deeper changes.
This could mean: renegotiating your relationship with the source of your anxiety (e.g. placing a problem in perspective); creating a healthy routine to de-escalate (e.g. turn off your phone by 10pm); or even distancing ourselves from what greatly stresses us out (e.g. choosing a subject combination, college major, or job you have a greater aptitude for or interest in).
If you’re feeling in over your head — you’re not alone! However if you’ve been in that dark place for too long, perhaps consider taking hold of the steering wheel to get to a happier, healthier place.
How do you cope with or manage your stress? What has worked for you, and what didn’t? We’d love to hear from you in the comments.
If your stress is related to an impending decision related to a career choice, feel free to write us — we’re happy to offer what support we can (also, Louis has a certificate in Career Counselling)! Should you be in an urgent or critical state of stress or anxiety, these hotlines exist to help you.
If you feel like you’re stuck in a stressful rut, here are some other posts you might find interesting:
