24 Tech predictions for 2024

From Green AI to War Tech and Memeland, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

What. A. Year. The Ukraine war stalled. COVID too. There were coups in Africa, and in Silicon Valley boardrooms. The Middle East: Took, shook, grim outlook. Barbenheimer went nuclear, and so did the rest of the world. Inflation went up, and Prigozhin went down. The Eras Tour was fire, while regional banks were a dumpster fire. In other news, everything was on fire. The Last of Us, indeed. A Chinese spy balloon exploded in the sky, and the Titan imploded undersea. “Under the Sea”… are grown men still mad at the Little Mermaid? We broke up with Twitter, now an X. McCarthy is the new Truss; Yaccarino is probably next. Argentina elected a werewolf, the Netherlands elected a vampire. Spoilers for Friends, Succession: Chandler goes to heaven and Logan goes to hell. Hollywood stars went on strike, and Miami got a star striker. Google is into astrology now, I guess? Boys thought about the Roman Empire, girls about Dinner and Math. Are Nepo Babies Delulu about Skibidi Toilet? I don’t know and I want off this ride.

History has always rhymed; in 2023 it did so faster than ever.

But we’ve made it. And though many (but not all) of my predictions for 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019 and 2018 have fallen flat, there are two reasons why you should…