Twitter/X Is Doomed

No matter what financial trickery Musk tries to pull.

Remember when Twitter was for outing Hollywood perverts, calling out systemic racism, sharing stupid memes, and seeing which awful opinions your favourite celebrity held? Those were better days. But sadly, they now reside deep in our melancholy nostalgia box, next to memories of Bebo, MySpace, and the audiovisual bliss of a PS2 loading screen. Elon Musk, driven by his inexplicably inflated ego, has terraformed this once-fertile digital plane into a barren fascist hellhole. Ever since his self-inflicted, overpriced purchase and subsequent butchering of the company, Twitter has been on its last legs. Its once ubiquitous brand and reputation are now totally destroyed. Its once meagre cash flow is now non-existent. By all rights, it should have died a long time ago. However, it seems Musk may have somehow saved this corrupted giant, as its value has suddenly shot back up to match what he originally paid for it. Unfortunately, things are not what they seem, and Twitter is still destined for the grave. But, to explain why, we need to rewind the clocks.

October 2022

Elon Musk, forced by lawyers to follow through on his public offer, buys the entirety of Twitter for $44 billion. Musk doesn’t have that kind of cash lying around, so he obtains $13 billion in bank loans…