Executive Retires After 35 Straight Years of Being Pulled Into Meetings
After spending 35 years, his entire career, at Big Idea Co., Joseph Collins was honored by the company at a recent retirement ceremony. Collins himself was not able to attend, as he was pulled into an impromptu meeting, missing his own retirement party. Though unfortunate, no one involved with the situation was very surprised.
“This always happens with Joe! He sits in the middle of a few different groups, and everyone’s looking to get his thoughts on things” shared Clarence Jones, CEO of Big Idea. “When he was hired, and this was well before my tenure, he was pulled in all kinds of directions because he had to get up to speed. After that, people got used to asking him about things, and he never developed a day to day. I guess he just kind of hopped from meeting to meeting!”
Jones took an enormous bite of cake and continued, “I mean..(muffled, chewing)..I gueff thaffs nah sush a baa thing. No dehff work!”
According to sources close to Collins, he never had many meetings on his calendar. Typically he would be walking to his office, which was in a high traffic area near the kitchen, bathroom, and conference rooms, run into a coworker, and be asked to join a huddle, recap, or quick touchbase.
Collins, who sources thought worked in operations, or maybe marketing, but potentially was actually the office manager, was renowned for “connecting the dots”.
“Joey knows who to talk with and how to get it done!” stated Linda Kline, VP of New Business. “I always make sure our potential clients meet him. He knows everyone here, and he really connects people.”
“Joe Collins is the key master. You tell him your problem, he’ll tell you who can solve it,” said Javier Lopez, a senior graphic designer.
“Joe Collins is my dad!” exclaimed Jen Campbell, copywriter. “Well, not actually. But I wish he was!”
When we had the chance to speak to Collins himself, he explained. “Well you see, I was brought in to lead collaboration and communication between teams. So then…”
At that point Joe was interrupted by Kline, who asked him to drop into the conference room to meet some potential clients. At press time, Premium Jargon could not confirm Joe’s job title or responsibilities, just that he sure did attend a whole bunch of meetings.

