Why We Envy Others
What is the golden apple of discord?
In the story of The Judgement of Paris, the goddess of strife, Eris, throws a golden apple into the middle of a wedding feast. The apple is inscribed with the words — “to the most beautiful.” Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite tussle over the apple, each claiming that they are the fairest.
Paris is then appointed as a judge to their goddess beauty contest. Each of the goddesses bribes him. Hera offers to make him a king. Athena offers him great wisdom, and Aphrodite gifts him the most beautiful mortal woman — Helen of Sparta.
Paris chooses Aphrodite’s gift, and that fateful decision launches the other two goddesses into a jealous rage and creates the Trojan War.
This story is as modern as three celebrities competing for one product endorsement. Nothing fans the flames of jealousy more than three people who are alike and want the same thing.
We often assume that conflict arises due to differences. Yet, those differences are surface details. The apple of discord is envy, and we most envy those that are most like us. A goddess will only be jealous of another goddess.
The philosopher Rene Girard coined the term mimetic desire to describe how our desires mimic other people’s desires. Girard believed that what we desire is not innate…
