Networking No-No’s: “Get It From___”
So today, I had a meeting with a marketing professional about an endeavor he’s been pursuing and doing pretty well in. He invited me out for coffee to chat and see if I might be interested in the endeavor & I accepted.
We had a great conversation about ways to expand my income, the business model he & his partners had set up, and I was so impressed that I agreed to a follow-up engagement this upcoming week to meet his team and learn more about the business. I humbly accepted his offer. We confirmed our meeting for the next week, and I was on my merry way.
I stayed in the area to shoot a few e-mails out and work on my portfolio. While gazing intently at my laptop, I heard the voice of my new business acquaintance.
“Hey BJ! You still in here? Don’t stick around here too late bud.”
“Oh I’ll be fine, just have a few loose ends to tie up before I head out.”, I said.
We chatted for a few more seconds then bid each other adieu. I noticed he had a friend with him, but the friend didn’t say anything or come close, so I decided not to press. As the two walked away, they spoke for a few seconds before turning back around.
“Hey BJ, I had a friend I want you to meet! He worked in the IT space for a while, so I’m sure you two have some things in common”, my associate said.
As it turned out, we had a lot to talk about. We proceeeded to geek out over our experiences in the industry, stories of how we broke in, and the things we’re doing for work right now. In my head, I thought “Man, this must be serendipity at work — I meet two friends who are interested in the EXACT things I am. Must be my lucky day.”
Then I tried to connect.
“Hey, do you mind if we trade contact information?”
“Get it from me at the event this Tuesday.”, he said.
I looked at him smiled, and thanked the the two for the chat. As they walked away, I immediately began to question the whole interaction.
“Why would I have to wait until Tuesday to get his contact information…wasn’t he standing right in front of me?” I mused to myself.
Lewis Howes, Olympic athelete, author & entrepreneur once said,
One of the most powerful networking practices is to provide immediate value to a new connection. This means the moment you identify a way to help someone, take action.
This is my mantra for networking and business as a whole — I love providing immediate value to people in my network and my hope was to do the same with the person in question. So when he denied my offer, I was so taken aback that I simply HAD to examine where I may have gone wrong.
Now that I’ve taken a few moments to think about the situation (not a big one, but one that,to me, does require some thought) I came to these conclusions:
Ultimately, I understand the game that he might have been playing. Let’s all face it, networking is a game, albiet a low risk, high reward game. The stakes of the game in terms of a loss are low, but the reward for networking UP is extremely valuable & positive. A person’s potential for upward mobility — getting a serendipitous chance to change your life because you met, connected with and learned from someone — is inherently linked to his or her networking ability. In my case, the man in question probably wanted to push the agenda of the meeting to make sure I will be present. At the same time, our conversation had nothing to do with the Tuesday meeting his FRIEND and I had. Ours was focused on tech & entrepreneurship. His move to deflect a networking opportunity could potentially have unintended consequences — not a negative one by any means, but it did however cap the potential positive ROI from our discussion.
What if I had an opportunity I thought I could have connected him to? What if I had valuable information that could take his career to new heights? What if I couldn’t do any of these things?
See the thing about networking is this: most people have nothing to lose from making a connection. Most people, however, also have a lot more to gain from a solid networking opportunity. The reward, however, is extremely low if you’re unwilling to take a risk and make the intial connection.
In the age of entrepreneurship & information, the name of the game is responsiveness. If you aren’t a risk taker by nature, that’s understandable. Networking, however, is the lowest risk investment you can potentially have. And the potential positive ROI far exceeds the risk associated with it. These are situations I would never pass up, and is the reason I am writing this piece today.
The choice, however, is always yours to make.
