Ditto: A Short Story

May 8, 2016 — Entry #7

I can’t believe I’m still doing this. My roommate Jacklyn said this would help ‘get it all out’ of my system but after a week, I still feel the same. She was all like, “Aurora after a week of journaling, you’ll forget it ever happened!”

Yep, still remember the breakup. I’m not going to describe it all over again. I did that for yesterday’s entry and well, that ended in tears. Maybe I’m just too old for diary entries. Maybe I’m just doing this wrong. Here I am, a 22-year-old woman crying about her day to a piece of paper. In other news, this past week has been weird. Time has been going by way too fast. It might be because I’m about to graduate from college soon. I don’t know. I’m just scared of moving on. I like the way things are, I don’t want anything to change. Ever. Today was an amazing day, why would I want anything else? Forget having a boyfriend, I don’t need anyone. I still have Jacklyn and my family back home. This is a weird thought coming from me, but if I could live this day over and over again, I would. Believe me.

May 9, 2016- Entry #8

Today was perfect.

May 10, 2016 — Entry #9

Today was weird. Let me explain. It’s been a little over a week since I’ve been ‘journaling my feelings.’ Yesterday was just like any other day. On the more positive side, I got to call mom. Just to check up on her, you know. But when I got back to my apartment, something felt a bit different. Perhaps I’m overthinking things, but when Jacky was talking to me yesterday night, she was being weird. At first, it was just a normal conversation. We talked about how our days went, blah blah blah. She then asked me how my journaling was going. That was normal. Of course she would check up on me, she was the one that pushed me to do it in the first place. But then Jacky said something that scared me. I remember every single word that came out of her mouth at that very. She said, “I’m glad you’re being consistent with this, Aurora. You usually hate being consistent with things. But I’m surprised. Today marks your seventh entry!”

Wrong. It’s my ninth.

May 11, 2016 — Entry #10

This isn’t right. None of this is. I knew it the moment I opened my eyes this morning. I called my mom — no wait I did that yesterday. Did I? I don’t know. Anyways I called just to check up on her. But when I got back to my apartment, things were just…wrong. Jackie was talking about her day to me, blah blah blah. But then she asked me about my — wait a minute. Oh god. Ohhhh god. This can’t be possible.

May 8, 2016 — Entry #11

I’m going INSANE. Why the hell is this happening? How is this even possible? Each and every day is the same, but…different? I don’t think I even remember my roommate’s original name? Hell, I can barely remember each repeating day. The only thing that’s keeping me sane is this stupid journal. I guess I owe Jacklyn my life.

May 8, 2016 — Entry #12

Ok ok ok, from the very few movies and TVshows I have watched that contain any ‘time loops’, It seems that I might’ve done something wrong. To be more specific, the day that the loop started was the day that I did something wrong. And whatever that ‘thing’ is, I still keep doing it. But what is it?

May 8, 2016 — Entry #13

Rereading my past entries appear to help with my memory, but I still don’t think I have a grasp on what’s real and what’s a product of the time loop. I’m afraid I might forget everything outside of this loop. Afraid I might forget myself. Afraid I might forget my own family.

May 8, 2016 — Entry #14

Is it bad that I don’t want this to end? Is this only happening to me? Am I the only one seeing this? Am I ruining everyone else’s life by reliving the same day over and over? It’s ironic, really. I hate being certain about the future, but I’m always uncertain. With this stupid loop, I know what to expect. Okay sure, maybe I’ll never be able to grow in life. I’ll never be able to have new experiences. I’ll never have a family of my own. But also, I’ll never die, the people I love will never die, my favorite show will never die out, the list goes on! I have what I need and that’s fine, right?

May 8, 2016 — Entry #15

It’s a win-win situation anyways. I’ll just accept my fate. That’s it. I’m putting this journal down and moving on with my repeating life.

??? — Entry #16

I’m tired.

??? — Entry #17

It’s been months, maybe a year. I don’t know.

??? — Entry #18

I don’t know who I am anymore.

???- Entry #19

Maybe I’d like a little change after all.

May 9, 2016 — Entry #20

It stopped.

May 10, 2016 — Entry #21

Today was weird. People have been giving me these looks, but I don’t care. Jacklyn asked me if I was okay every time she looked at me. She tried having a ‘normal’ conversation with me but stopped after I apparently said the same things over and over. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Jacklyn acts like I’m a totally different person, it’s weird. At least I got to call my mom today, we caught up, I checked up on her, the usual.