The Last Laugh: A Joker Story

I am out on the balcony, waiting for my dear old friend to arrive. The night sky is looking down on me, glittered with stars. Those stars are awaiting his presence, as well as the hundreds of people in Gotham City.

“One wrong move and everything goes boom,” I said out loud. After tonight, I can finally be the rightful ruler of all these people.

One of my Rottweilers barks. Someone seems to be interrupting us. Or even better, he may have just arrived.

Showtime, ladies and gentlemen.

“Well you made it, I’m so thrilled,” I tell him.

“Where’s the detonator?” Batman says. He is in his full costume, the mask and cape shining as the leather was probably to have been washed thoroughly as possible.

“Go get him,” I said to my group of dogs. They started to run towards him, barks filled the air.

This does nothing to stop Batman. He swings his arms at the dogs, fighting his way through them to get to me. How nice of him.

The dogs were soon on the ground, a few feet from Batman. I got frustrated, I mean, who wouldn’t?

I ran quickly, hitting him repeatedly with the crowbar in my hands.

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

I became tense after hearing hundreds of gunshots. Those were not from my henchmen, I knew that for a fact. It was Brucie’s backup, his police force.

None of my attention was diverted to him. My undivided attention is solely on Batman. Punch after punch, I did not miss once.

Klok!

Batman delivers quite a kick. I’m not surprised, just glad I have some type of competition now.

In the background, I can still hear all the gunshots and the sound of grunts being released by my men. There’s a big chance that we were outnumbered, but I didn’t care. I wanted this city to fall under my ruling. I wanted Harley, my dear Harley Quinn, back next to me and not inside a prison cell. Over everything though, I need Batty dead.

I started to push him back into the railing but instead started to push him into the black torn net. It was hung there by one of my goons, Chuckles, earlier today. Batman was entangling himself in it.

“What a dumb bat,” I think to myself.

Clink!

The sound of my knife being drawn out cut through the opposing sound of struggles of my men. They were being tied and held against the ground by the police. Oh well, better them than me.

I made an advancement towards Batman as I made an attempt to stab him. No luck there.

Batty swings his arm forward, causing the knife to fly from my grip. A strong push is what it takes for me to get away from him. I land on the floor, a few feet away from Batman. He stands tall, but I notice his ‘eyes’ are glowing. Probably a new invention in the office.

I notice that he seems to be panicking. It’s probably those new bat eyes. Now’s my chance.

I quickly ran to him, plummeting his body into the ground. Batty landed in the rusted elevator, just under a pipe.

Perfect.

I made sure my hands were pushing down on the pipe, hard enough to hold him still but not hard enough to kill him.

“All right we should stop this fighting,” I tell him. “We’ll miss the fireworks.”

“There will be no fireworks,” Battie says. Oh, how surprised will he is going to be.

“And from here we go…,” I say.

Now, I need to have a bit of patience for my human subject to diffuse the bomb. The clock was close to striking midnight.

Click.

We are in the same position, waiting for those fireworks.

Clock.

I keep a stronghold on Brucey, just in case he tries anything.

Click

It’s midnight now.

Clock.

Nothing has happened. No fireworks, no dead bodies. I felt my body start to twitch. My 2 months worth of a plan went down the drain.

“What were you trying to prove, that everyone is exactly alone?” the man with the pipe on his neck says. “You’re alone.”

I let out a grunt.

“I can’t rely on anyone these days, you have to do everything yourself, don’t we?” I say to myself. “That’s okay, I came prepared. It’s a funny world we live in.”

Taking out my own detonator, I start to get ready to blow everything to smithers.

“Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?”, I ask Batty.

“No, but I know how you got these,” he responds.

In a matter of seconds, I was falling. Falling from the top of the building to the very bottom. That damn bat sure knows how to cut someone up.

Laughter is all you hear now. It’s me. That’s me. I’m laughing my way down. It’s cut short as I feel something wrap itself around my leg.

“You, you couldn’t just let me go could you?” I ask him as I catch my breath. I feel myself being lifted. I knew that scum has always liked me.

I was upside down. I wonder if he knows how much I hate not being able to plant both of my feet on the ground. ‘

“This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object,” I manage to say. “You wont kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness and I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun.”

Loving the expression of disgust he wore, I continue to nag him.

“You and I, are just destined to do this forever,” I say.

That’s all it took to finally get the bat to start talking.

“You’ll be in a padded cell forever,” Batman told me.

“Maybe we can share one,” I tell him. “They’ll be doubling the rate of this city’s inhabitants that are losing their mind.”

As I continued hanging, I brought up a quick point just to make him even angrier. I love my life.

“You didn’t think I’d risk losing the battle for Gotham’s soul in a fistfight with you?” I say to him. “No, you need an ace in the hole. Which is why I took Gotham’s White Knight and brought him down to our level.”

Talking about Harvey was always a sensitive topic for poor Batty. He always appeared tense in the interviews when asked about Harvey. It’s a good thing I payed attention.

“It wasn’t hard,” I tell a distressed Batman. “You see, madness as you know is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.”

With that, I laugh.

I laugh as loud as I can. I make sure his police department can hear me laughing. Batman turns quickly, probably on his way to find Harvey.

The latex cape he is wearing follows him, taking my laughter with them.