Masterful Management — The First 3 Questions
Some of the best managers I’ve ever supported say they took things to a whole new level by retro-fitting their relationships with these three questions. For years it hadn’t occurred to me to ask these questions myself until a mentor pointed out an essential truth.
Without exception, my proudest moments as a manager had less to do with how thoroughly I’d tracked what my crew was up to, and more to do with this uncanny knack seasoned leaders cultivate:
- Reaching out to just the right person at just the critical moment
- Encouraging teammates to “extract a splinter” by resolving a minor disagreement they’d had just as it was “becoming infected” as a major misalignment
- Warning an executive team of a “flight risk” even before their direct manager recognized it, sometimes even before the employee had started job-hunting
- Receiving a “911 call” for support from a key contributor under such extreme duress they’d refused to respond to concerned messages after abruptly no-showing on their entire team
As you develop beyond “project manager” to “supportive leader”, your crucial contributions often serve quietly from the background until these more extreme situations arise. Set the stage for serving both roles, right out of the gate, with this deceptively simple context:
“Before we dive into clarifying your particular responsibilities, and how I best support you fulfilling them, let’s start by getting a better sense of your personal approach to having a manager in the first place…”
- How was it for you when you were first told you’ll be reporting to me? The more uncensored you encourage them to answer, the more the tone is set for truly having each other’s back with nothing unspoken between you. The sooner you get on the same page about the good and the bad, the better you’ll both resolve any reticence and enhance ways you naturally sync well together.
- What’s one example from your past of being glad you had a manager, and one example of your manager making you less likely to succeed? Like a friend so accustomed to their old refrigerator buzzing they no longer even notice until you point it out, most people carry all manner of “already/always” assumptions into their interactions with you as an authority they report to. These background assumptions invariably detract from the synergy possible between you until you get on the same page about them, in which case they can actually make the dynamic stronger than ever.
- What are three commitments we can make to each other to make this the best management experience either of us have had yet? These commitments ideally evolve over time. For example, be ready to discover it’s optimal to have more brief but frequent check-ins even if the opposite worked better in the past, or that humor seemed to boost morale initially yet recently became a way to avoid crucial conversations.
Striving for perfect teamwork…it’s one of those infinite horizons leaders face one way or another. Conceding that you’ll never actually arrive there is an even better reason to enjoy the process, a journey of ever-improving communication that can begin with a few essential questions. I hope you find them as surprisingly valuable as I have over the years, and if they remind you of even better questions to set the stage with, please share them with us in the comments below!
Prime Movers Lab invests in breakthrough scientific startups founded by Prime Movers, the inventors who transform billions of lives. We invest in seed-stage companies reinventing energy, transportation, infrastructure, manufacturing, human augmentation and computing
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