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A Pair of Out Bi Fathers Bantering About Masculinity
Pondering reasons why it took me so long to come out
“For my 23-year-old son,” Thomas shared, “sexual orientation and gender identity are pretty much non factors. Whichever way someone identifies is totally cool with him.”
(Like Yours Truly, Thomas — who I just met a week ago — is out as a bi man and in a long-term, mixed-orientation relationship with a supportive woman.)
“I may be naïve,” he continued. “But my son’s attitude makes me optimistic. Just you watch. We’re gonna get through this mess and come out fine on the other side.”
“Right,” I responded. “I’ve got two kids in their 40s and one in her 30s. And none of them have any issues with any of that stuff. So, it’s not just 23-year-olds who’ve managed to overcome those kinds of biases. And it is encouraging, for sure! But…”
“Okay,” Thomas said, pausing to give me permission to make my counter argument.
“I don’t mean this as a criticism,” I remarked, “so I hope you don’t take it that way. But, yes, you are being a bit naïve.”
“Well,” Thomas quipped, flashing a coy, childlike smile, “that’s just the way I am. I’m a glass-half-full sort-a guy.”
