A Same-Sex Spouse, I Had to Cope When My Husband Lost His Driving Ability

Wrote this many years ago to Gregory, who was well-advanced on our Alzheimer’s disease journey

Gregory RIP (l) Michael (r). Photo taken by dear friend Patricia Anderson

I wrote this piece about Gregory’s driving our car about ten years ago but just came across it. I thought sharing it with others in a similar situation would be good. I know that many members of the LGBTQ community are dealing with similar issues, Dementia/Alzheimer’s disease, but there is very little written about it.

I always referred to it as OUR Journey with dementia/Alzheimer’s disease. Gregory slowly lost his abilities, and I unwaveringly supported him through these changes. In the end, my primary responsibility was to:

1. keep him safe.
2. make sure he was in the right place, doing the right things, at the right time.
3. make sure he knew he was loved.
4. make sure that if he ever was lost (physically, emotionally, mentally), we would find each other.

Men, notoriously, tie their masculinity to their ability to drive a car. Many families struggle with getting the person dealing with dementia (often Alzheimer’s disease) to stop driving.