CREATIVE NON-FICTION
A Trans Person’s Delight in Swimming After Avoiding Pools for 10+ Years
The unexpected joy of swimming post-transition
Swimming is a source of pleasure.
I love the smooth, chilly freshness of the water on my skin. Water is soothing and calming to all of my senses.
But swimming is also a source of grief.
The mandatory lessons and contests that our school put us through, drained away any enthusiasm I had for the sport.
What was worse, I was going through a rough time with my body. A couple of years ago, I finally got surgery to get rid of my chest, thank goodness.
Yet, I still didn’t feel comfortable wearing swim trunks and laying bare my torso for other people to see. I could wear a gender-neutral one-piece suit, but still, I was uncertain about going back to the pool.
For one, it was hard to forget how I always lost in swimming contests. While I’m not a super competitive person, I don’t enjoy losing all the time, either.
But the scariest thing was navigating the men’s changing room. I’m lucky that most people read me as male now, so no one gives me weird glances in the men’s rooms anymore.