LGBTQ+ Experiences
After a Jury Summons in My Deadname, I Relived a Painful Experience
Just in time for all my prior identification to be voided in favor of my real name
CW: My domestic-violence survivor courtroom experience is shared without graphic details
I recently experienced a transgender rite of passage worth celebrating! A shiny new passport arrived in the mail last month. It has my real name and a matching gender marker.
Choosing which gender marker to go with was a bit of a struggle. X feels just as appropriate as M, since I’m both non-binary and a trans man. Unsure whether our country is going with the hard core anti-trans option in the coming election, I decided to lean into having the option to “blend in,” just in case.
I went with M for male.
My wife made the opposite choice, saying that X felt better and that hiding didn’t feel right no matter how hateful our country allows the government to get. There are no wrong answers. The reality is that we can’t always guess what the safer choice will be anyway. We can’t read transphobic minds, even if we wanted to waste our lives doing that.
The other day, I got a letter in the mail letting me know that “blending in” was…