An Ode To Masks
Transgender, early transition, and facial dysphoria
Masks are a beautiful thing — in every shape, size, color, and pattern, they protect us from not only the deadly pandemic coronavirus that has transformed our daily lives, but smaller things. Allergies. The common cold. Or even the actual cold with just enough coverage to protect against the crisp winter air.
And big things, too. Like dysphoria.
In 2019, I bought myself an at-home intense pulsed light (IPL) laser hair removal kit. I tested it on my inner forearm (a less daunting location than my face) on Christmas Eve, a gift. From past experience, I knew professional permanent facial hair removal was more expensive than I could afford — total cost estimates are as high as $16,000 — and instead, started lasering it myself almost every day.
So, when Los Angeles went into emergency lockdown for COVID-19 and I suddenly had to wear a mask to interact with others, I can’t say my fear wasn’t mixed with a certain level of relief.
I am not the only one.
More and more people have come out during quarantine, forced to reconcile with their own thoughts and feelings without the outside world to distract them. Alana Joy, a YouTuber who built her platform as a bisexual creator came out as a lesbian early on in the pandemic. “I had all of this extra time, and usually when I would start having these questions or these panics about being gay, I would rationalize it away and I would be able to talk myself out of it or I would be able to run off to my queer community,” Joy said in an interview with NowToronto. “Once I was in quarantine, I was just stuck in my own head with my own thoughts and I had to face it.”
Notably, Elliot Page, Halsey, Kehlani, and the WNBA’s Layshia Clarendon are also among the newly out.
Perhaps the most universally daunting trial of early transition is constant misgendering. For some, a mask can circumvent this by camouflaging the presence or absence of expected secondary sex characteristics with more forgiving fabric in its stead. For those later in transition — primarily those under the transmasculine umbrella — a mask is the problem rather than the solution.
Be it bright floral, plain white KN95, or a nod to your favorite television show, a mask is a shield the post-COVID world may not offer us. Let us embrace it while we can.
