Anti-Trans Colonial Panic, Trans Tomboys, Thai Film, and Gay Deer!
Prism & Pen Weekly Digest 1 September 2024
by James Finn
Did you know the Portuguese word for deer is an anti-gay slur in Brazil? Did you know ‘The Love of Siam’ is a Thai film that’s opening hearts and minds in Asia and across the globe? What do you think of trans people defying gender stereotypes? As in, why would a trans woman present as a tomboy? And did you know anti-trans moral panic targeted native Americans? Centuries ago?
All that and much more this week in Prism & Pen as we continue to write about stereotypes and how they impact queer people. One more week to go on that prompt since stories keep pouring in!
Also, if you’re a fiction lover, please scroll down and check out Torshie Torto’s hot, sexy, scary queer allegory about witches and demons. Queer horror not up your alley? Every Monday, Elle Fredine serves up a helping of smart, sophisticated drawing-room mystery — featuring a clever gay detective and his very (!) different work and life partners.
Prism & Pen brings you authentic queer voices every morning…. Come read with us!👇
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* Discover P&P Diversity in Four Stories *
I’m a Transgender Woman and a Tomboy. What’s The Harm?
Being a trans woman can often mean you find yourself in a lose-lose situation when it comes to gender identity and expression.
When a trans woman doesn’t act “feminine” enough, she is often punished. Sadly this punishment sometimes comes from both the cisgender and transgender communities.
… Cisgender people will refer to you as a man for failing to meet society’s normative alignment of gender identity and expression.
This can come from the trans community as well: not presenting sufficiently “feminine” is seen as not being “trans enough”, according to what scholars have termed transnormativity …
Revisiting One of Thailand’s Most Beloved Gay Films
Looking back now, The Love of Siam was my favorite Thai LGBTQ-themed movie during my later high school years in China.
I’ve watched it countless times, sometimes in fragments, and I eagerly recommended it to my classmates, engaging them in discussions, finding topics to talk about. For a long time, I couldn’t shake off the emotions the movie stirred in me. Now, more than a decade has passed, and this film feels a bit like Bing Bong from Inside Out — a best friend for a while, then suddenly gone without a trace.
That is, until I came across a recent podcast with the director and the two leading actors, …
Americans Have Been Panicking About Queer People Since Before America Existed
As a trans person, I have watched in horror as the latest “groomer” panic has enfolded. I have observed moral entrepreneurs such as Matt Walsh and Libs of TikTok’s Chaya Raichik whip up a frenzy against queer people based on lies about my community, alleging that we are all child predators.
I have spent a lot of time refuting these allegations over the last few years. And as I have learned more and more about history, it’s become abundantly clear that this is not a unique moment — neither in queer history nor the history of moral panics more broadly.
In fact, the seed for this latest panic is rooted in a type of thinking that existed even before the United States did as a concept.
When Hormones Only Matter When You Want Them To Matter
People opposed to transgender women in sports once again reared their ugly heads when the stories about Olympian Imane Khelif of Algeria began circulating. Even after the media reported Khelif is not transgender, the rhetoric around gender ideology and abnormal hormone levels continued.
Gender-critical people are quick to accuse women with testosterone levels outside the average female range of being men pretending to be women. Then they turn around and accuse transgender men, who also have testosterone outside of the average female range, of being women pretending to be men.
So, in their eyes, testosterone levels only matter when they say they matter?
* This Week’s Essays & Creative Non Fiction *
Embracing My Identity: A Gay Man’s Love Affair with Sports
Hey there, darlings! Let’s spill some tea about something you might not expect from a bear like me — a guy who loves his brunches, game nights, and a mimosa or two.
But here’s the twist: I’ve got a thing for sports.
And not just watching them from the sidelines, mind you. Even us bears can get sporty, and I’m living proof that you can love the game and embrace your identity without ever missing a beat — even if some people might clutch their pearls and question my gay card over it.
Gay Tipping (it’s a thing!) Is Getting Old for Me
We dine out quite a bit.
Probably too much.
Being vegan in the Los Angeles area, there are just too many amazing places to eat delicious food and be in an amazing community.
For years, since I first came out, I have known of a gay stereotype that dictates that gay people, specifically gay men, tip higher than any other group of people.
A Vast Rainbow Greeted Our Vermont Same-Sex Civil Union Ceremony
In 2000, Gregory and I had our first Fall Adventure to New England. I had just retired from teaching and for the first time in 30 years, was FREE in September to travel. Gregory had lived in the East and attended Harvard for his graduate work, so he was excited about revisiting some of his old stomping grounds. This was my first car trip to New England.
We had the trip planned for a while when we discovered that Vermont would be the first state to allow same-sex civil unions. As long as we were going to be there, we decided that it would be politically correct to “get married.”
How Safe Is Being Me? Being a Lesbian Slows Down How I Express Myself.
It never fails. I go to the doctor; they ask the routine questions we females get.
“Are you sexually active?” — Yes
“Are you partnered?” — Yes
“Is there any chance you may be pregnant?” — Well, no, it would be miraculous if I am.
“So you aren’t sexually active?” — Yes, I am with my wife.
“Oh. Right. You wouldn’t be pregnant then.” — I fake the same smile every time …
How My Queer Sexuality Informs My Gender Expression
The experience of being trans includes an awareness that my identity could be denied at any moment, perhaps violently.
Indeed, my parents and siblings deny my identity quite directly. My brother told me I’m “such a woman” because I’m attracted to men. (Yeah. Yeah I know.) My parents say acknowledging my identity would be lying. (And wonder why I don’t talk to them.)
My identity as a man has also been denied in more subtle ways by those who are accepting. As a trans man, I am seen as safe by women who know me, and part of that is being subjected to rants about how men are trash.
Reconnecting With My Queer Cousin and My Appalachian Roots
… the split between queer Appalachians and their families has only grown more acute and more devastating since 2016, when Donald Trump’s first candidacy sundered families and forced all of us to really take a hard look at our loved ones, re-evaluating whether it was really possible to stay in such close contact with people who were willing to vote for an administration that was so steadfastly opposed to LGBTQ+ rights (see also: Mike Pence).
Some of us chose to distance ourselves from that part of our lives while others, like myself, have taken a more in-between approach. The results, to put it mildly, have been quite mixed.
Ew, David! — Schitt’s Creek’s Disappointing Take on Polyamory
When Schitt’s Creek aired in 2015, I watched every episode. I loved its humor and portrayal of queer relationships. However, in 2015 I wasn’t in an open relationship yet. This may be the reason episode 2 of season 3, titled “The Throuple” aired without my noticing.
Last week, I rewatched this particular episode, as Hulu suggested…
Now, before I deliver a disappointing review on the show’s handling of polyamory, know that Schitt’s Creek is fabulous entertainment.
Trans Expression Is about So Much More than Appearance
My counselor offered a raised eye as I trailed off, then smiled. Up for discussion was my previous relationship, a topic that’s turned stickier as I’ve continued transitioning. Typically, when I look back, I attach the pointiest asterisk: while I am a trans woman, I was once a boyfriend.
The hard lesson I learned? There’s a trick to being a good boyfriend. First, the obvious: countless men could do with a crash course on healthy masculinity and empathy. Yet you should clear a qualifying hurdle before signing up at all: be a man.
You’re Punishing Bi Women For… Not Having Enough Game?
I’m lucky enough to sometimes forget how pervasive biphobia can be. I’ve had many bi friends, inclusive queer friends of different sexualities, and straight friends who I’d consider allies.
And besides a couple thoughtless, yet relatively harmless comments, my romantic partners have been supportive. Or at least in regards to being bi… they’re past partners for a reason.
Another thing they have in common? They’ve all been men. But recently, I’ve been feeling more self-conscious of my dating history.
They Called Me Deer In School. Well, Deer Can Also Be Gay
“DEER!” (VEADO!)
Walking down the school hallway when I was a teenager and having someone call me deer at the top of their lungs was nothing new. Laughter would explode all around, and it would take me a couple of years to learn how to roll my eyes and follow just the words popularized by the drag queen Jinkx Monsoon — let it roll like water off a duck’s back.
The word veado (deer) has been used in Brazil as one of the most popular gay slurs for decades. Any gay kid has had it aimed at them at least once in their life.
Being Queer Set Me Free
My queerness has totally changed how I express myself and any stereotype that it embraces is only harmful to the delicate scaffolding of those gripping cishet privilege like a life preserver in the ocean when all they need to do is stand up and realize the water isn’t very deep!
Prism & Pen’s latest prompt asked a great question worthy of reflection — How has queerness changed how I express myself?
Look, up in the sky — it’s a queer!
Emotional Color — What Changed When I Transitioned?
I was feeling nervous when I picked up the small greenish-blue pill, Estradiol 2mg. Take one by mouth daily.
How would my life change? My relationships? My self-esteem? I’d done plenty of reading, but knowing something intuitively is far from actually living it.
To my dismay I didn’t wake up a fully cis woman on January 5. In fact, I didn’t feel very different at all.
January led to February, as it does, and then to March …
Five Unexpected Things I Experienced on HRT in my Transgender Life
Before I started taking testosterone, I did a lot of research on what kinds of changes I could expect. Nothing could prepare me for the reality of what I experienced. I fixated on the physical changes, but my biggest changes have been emotional. I’ve made a short list of some of the unexpected things that happened on my journey.
Transgender Reflections: What others see of themselves in your mirror.
When family and friends become aware that you are transgender, reactions vary from acceptance to outright rejection. It is such a person-by-person reaction.
It is a battle of acceptance versus rejection.
The best is acceptance. There is an explosion of internal joy every time it happens to me. I feel a new bond with that person. Many times the person thanks me for trusting them and it reminds me that being transgender in the current world is still looked at as a “dirty secret”.
Regardless, every new ally is another candle lit in the darkness created by gender ignorance.
* Fiction Shorts*
The Gay Detective: Who Shot the Sheriff?
We had precious little to go on. Sheriff Tolliver’s office had promised to update us on whatever he might’ve been pursuing. But so far, they were unsure what it might be. Or why he’d brought along his deputy, Sam Marcos.
But the next afternoon, Harry and I were cleared to talk to Marcos. According to the ward sister, he’d been demanding to see whoever was handling Tolliver’s shooting. “Better now, than he pops his stitches.”
She twitched the deputy’s coverlet into perfect alignment, plumped his pillows, and left us with stern warnings of a five-minute time limit.
* Fiction Series *
Her Witch, Her Demon
Don’t be fooled by the cute illustration. This week’s Witch & Demon episodes are hot, sexy, and definitely Not Safe For Work. But they’re so good!
“Where’s Nyx?” she asked once she felt at home in her body again.
“Bedroom.” Ezerix pointed upstairs before vanishing in a puff of darkness.
Not caring where the demon guard had run off to, Meredith mounted the stairs two at a time and ran up the narrow hallway to find Nyx’s room. She’d already been there before so it didn’t take long to find the massive bedroom.
Curled up in the humongous king-sized bed was a naked Nyx, writhing in agony, her face pressed into her pillows.
Read Episode 16 & Episode 17
* From Prism & Pen*
My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?
I’ll never forget the day I cried in front of a bunch of macho factory workers. My close friend and business partner Tim was one of them …
I’m not sure how my dad’s ill health came up, but I was taking time off to go see him — for what I thought might be the last time. While telling the story, I wiped big tears off my cheeks, and I had to sniffle a little.
The looks of shock! Like I’d violated the Man Box social compact. Our superintendent looked positively scandalized before he slammed his beer and hurried out.
Later, when we were alone, Tim put his arm over my shoulder and said, “Don’t worry about it. They all know you’re gay, so I’m sure they expect you to be over-emotional …”
So that’s our Prism & Pen writing prompt!
My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?
That’s it for this week!
Happy reading! Keep shining the love, and send your stories to Prism & Pen.
We need you all!
