Aromantics Can Desire a Loving and Sexual Non-Romantic Relationship

Deep, intimate relationships beyond romantic love

Sieran Lane
Prism & Pen
Published in
7 min readJan 12, 2023

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Image by e.kulik.2011 on DepositPhotos. Author has standard license to use photo for commercial purposes.

It boggles my mind why so many people assume that, if a relationship is both emotionally and sexually intimate, then it must be romantic.

Why can’t these folks see the other types of relationships, beyond categories like platonic friends, romantic partners, friends with benefits, fuck buddies, and one-night stands?

I happen to be both a romance-repulsed aromantic and a demisexual. Demisexuals can only experience sexual attraction if there is a close emotional bond. Aromantics, on the other hand, lack romantic attraction. But there is a lot of diversity among aromantics (aka aros).

For instance, some aros experience no romantic attraction. Some feel it rarely. Some feel it too mildly to be motivated to pursue a relationship. Some only feel it when there is an emotional bond first (aka demiromantic). Some have no idea what romance even means, so they couldn’t tell you if they experience it or not (aka quoiromantic or wtformantic.)

I’m definitely a quoiromantic. To this day, I’m not sure what romantic attraction even means beyond what I see in books and movies.

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Sieran Lane
Prism & Pen

A queer trans writer and therapist. I help fiction writers complete their novels. Let's connect! https://sieranlane.ghost.io