As Pride Approaches, Queer Voices Rise at Prism & Pen
Prism & Pen Weekly Digest, 11 May 2025
by
This week in Prism & Pen, jam with closeted “Fifth Beatle” Billy Preston and one icy Monreal night in ’74. Hear a trans lesbian bare her soul. Mourn with a gay man afraid his father never loved him. Learn truths about trans and gay dignity from Pakistan and Ghana. Fume with a mother called out because she dressed her son in pink. Learn about living out— from a bisexual man serving a stint in prison. And join at a Manhattan gay bar full of well dressed lawyers and one cute … flake.
Plus queer lives, LGBTQ church reform in Germany, and gorgeous poetry.
And don’t forget our latest writing prompt, How Will You Stay Positive for Pride This Year? 👇
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* P&P Highlights *
Yes, I Am a Trans Lesbian
I am a transgender lesbian.
But the realization of my sexuality didn’t come in a flash or a dramatic encounter. It came quietly, while I was writing. I was working on an essay — something meant to be about healing and recovery — and I found myself circling around memories I’d long since buried: the short-lived relationships I’d had with men.
And then it hit me. Those experiences were never really about the men themselves …
Say the Thing: How Does a Gay Man Grieve a Father Who Didn’t Love Him?
I still have so much to do…
Call the funeral home
Talk cremation
Life Banc still needs paperwork about organ donation
Mom hasn’t spoken in 24 hoursThere was a lot to do and take care of, and I was the adult in the room. There was no time to consider my relationship with Dad. Right now, someone needs to do the things that hurt to do. Except it won’t hurt me. Not because I’m strong — but because I’ve been trained like a fucking show pony from the age of 6 to be the “adult in the room.”
The first time I had to put a passed-out parent to bed, I was six.
What a Pakistani Trans Woman in Delhi Taught Me About Dignity
I remember it was June 2023, a scorching summer in Delhi, India. I was working in AIIMS Delhi at that time, the largest public hospital in the country …
And then I met Nazia.
I was in the waiting room scrolling through my phone when an elegant woman in a bright dupatta sat down beside me. She was graceful, and even though it is quite difficult to differentiate an Indian from Pakistani, I could sense that she was not from here.
She asked me about the doctor’s availability and I could figure out from her accent that she was a Pakistani …
The Gay Agenda is the Human Agenda, in Ghana and Globally
Many Ghanaians joined the conversation, expressing their views about how depraved Hollywood was. These Americans always had to include some form of gay storyline to appeal to the people, they said. “They’re trying to normalise homosexuality. These are indeed the last days. Beware of this gay agenda.”
If I didn’t know better, I would have burst into hysterical laughter. But as a Ghanaian, I did know better. These people were utterly serious. I’ve met people in real life who held these very beliefs. So, I was not surprised. Not in the least.
This sentiment is quite popular all over the world, not just in Ghana.
A True Story about the Time a Transphobe Saw My Son Wearing Pink
I scooped my two-year-old into my arms and raced up the driveway, yelling apologies and trying to wrangle the dog. He was already tangled up in their leashes, jumping around and nearly knocking her over.
The dust settled and she got her puppies into her own car, only to finally perceive my precious child. Small talk ensued, and I referred to my son as “he.” Immediately, her eyes wandered to his pink hat and sweater. “[Boy name], what are you doing in pink? Why do they have you in girl’s clothes?” The question is directed towards my son, but it’s really for me.
How could I make a mockery of my toddler’s masculinity by adorning him in “girl colors”?
Did I Choose a Flake Because the Bullies Called Me a ‘Fruit’?
Everyone around me was in a suit jacket and a well ironed button-up shirt. In my jeans and corduroy coat, I worried I was under-dressed — until I saw Joe, in the center of the crowd, in skimpy tight shorts and a white t-shirt.
I was captivated by his beaming smile, his thick wavy blond hair, and that lovely twinkle in his eye as he held my gaze as I walked over to meet him.
He was in his late-20’s, a personal trainer on his way to nursing school.
Unpacking our mutual ambitions and artistic practices, he said — The life we dream about at night is just as real as the life we already have. And I echoed — Nothing that already exists is half as exciting as what we can dream…
But when I came out of the bathroom, he was gone.
Interview with My Friend: A Young Man’s Journey to His Transgender Self
I met S a few months ago through my day job. We chuckle about it now, but I had him all wrong when we first met. Right alphabet, wrong letter. I thought he was a gay man. Oops. He died laughing when I finally told him and said, “Well, at least you thought I was a man!”
My radar may have been a little off, but what wasn’t off was the vibe I got from S. He’s quickly become one of my people, as has his wife. When Prism & Pen put out the call to ensure queer history wasn’t erased, to tell our stories, I knew I wanted to sit down with S and learn about his journey, if he was willing to share.
Being Gay Was a Heavy Cross To Bear for “The Fifth Beatle”
Billy [Preston] started pumping a steady quarter-note beat on the plywood with his right foot, then began playing a gospel-styled R&B chord pattern. Watching his hands enabled me to follow along. Soon, I fell into a rhythmic, single-note, funk pattern…
After wailing some notes at least half an octave higher than James Brown, Preston began singing. “It’s my pleasure… to entertain people.” Then, he started throwing in some jazzier chord changes. For a glam rocker like me, it took everything I had to keep up…
When we got [back] into the city, Billy began to implore, “Please, please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was apparent to me how lonely he felt, how starved he was for human contact, for physical intimacy. Still, his need seemed less sexual and more an expression of fear…
Is it Okay to Be Out as Gay or Bisexual in Prison? An Inside Perspective.
Television shows like Orange is the New Black and Oz brought prison sex and prison relationships into the homes of people across the world. While some things they showed are accurate, many of them are not. I can’t speak about the rules and laws of other countries with any authority, but I can tell you sex in prison is against the law in the United States, whether it’s between inmates or inmates and correctional officers.
I can also tell you it happens in both instances, based on knowledge I’ve gained during my current stint in a state prison.
Relationships are not encouraged, but they’re not typically outright illegal either, unless it’s between inmates and correctional officers.
* From the Editors *
How Will You Stay Positive for Pride This Year?
That’s our new Prism & Pen writing prompt for May, as we count down to Pride. Don’t let my ideas restrict your writing, please. If you write for Prism & Pen already or if you’ve ever wanted to, we want to hear YOUR stories about Pride and positivity this year, or in years past. (Queer history is always welcome!)
And please, I don’t mean to make this prompt U.S. or U.K. centric. No matter where you live or how queer dignity and equality are shaping up there, we want to hear from you! (Anybody from Brazil want to write about [the foiled anti-queer massacre at] that Lady Gaga concert?)
* This Week’s Essays & Creative Non Fiction *
Church Meets Queerness With a Swiss-German Accent
Not only did I land once again on an activism journey I often embark on with delight, but my destination was quite unusual.
Yes, a church.
For a non-theist queer person like me, that’s… questionable.
Yet on the 2nd of May, 2025, I found myself traveling to Hannover, not for reunification, not for baptism, but to attend an event hosted by the Hirschfeld-Eddy-Stiftung organisation that brought together astonishing Queer people, stories, and a topic I had never looked at this way before.
Interview With a Transgender Zoologist and Biologist — Part 2
My name is Kira, and I’m a trans woman and counselor specializing in transgender care. Recently, I launched a project where I interview professionals working with the trans community and its members worldwide. My goal is to highlight diversity, raise awareness, and educate society about transgender people. I’ll be sharing text versions of these interviews on Medium.
This is the second part of my interview with Kira Hartley, a transgender woman from the UK, a marine zoologist and biologist.
Sending a Letter of Affirmation to My Eighteen-Year-Old Closeted Gay Self
It may be difficult to imagine, but this letter was written by you on your 71st birthday. Yes, you make it that far. Hold onto hope. The dark times will pass, and you will not only survive but flourish as the happy out gay man you are dreaming of today.
It would be comforting to say the road ahead gets easier. The truth is that challenges remain in many ways. That’s life’s constant. The profound discovery we make is finding ourselves. We find love and become part of an accepting community. The days of hiding end, and our true lives unfold.
Those feelings of being different? Of being outside looking in? They fade away …
When Equality Feels Like Loss: The Pattern of Privilege in Crisis
… But let’s be clear: no one is asking to erase cis women. The request is simple — to coexist. To share. To understand that womanhood is not a gated community with limited keys. This is not about replacement. It’s about inclusion. And inclusion only feels threatening when one’s position of dominance is mistaken for a natural order.
When people confuse equality with loss, what they’re really protecting isn’t rights — it’s power.
Waiting for My Transgender Head to Explode
I remember in 1989 when I heard Billy Joel sing, We Didn’t Start the Fire, thinking what a lot of shit I have lived through… Today, it felt like my head was finally going to explode…
So I unplugged.
I then did a much better thing, I went for a walk, a long one. I shut down my brain and focused on the sunny day that was not predicted and listened to happy birds chirping in the budding trees.
A Young Muslim Lesbian’s Silent Search for Answers
Back then, the words I typed into search engines felt dangerous, loaded with risk, curiosity, and quiet desperation.
“Is it ok to be Muslim and gay?”
“Lesbian Muslim stories.”
“South Asian lesbians.”
Each search felt like a confession I didn’t know how to voice aloud.
They Like My ‘Protect Trans Folks’ Shirt in North Carolina
A friend from New Orleans tells me I live in Mayberry, Andy Griffith’s fictional hayseed town. Except Andy wasn’t a fascist. But Saturday I wore my Protect Trans Folks t-shirt when my wife and I went to have coffee with my brother.
The first of yesterday’s comments came from a middle-aged woman who said, “I like your t-shirt” as she passed our table. I thanked her and we had a short conversation in which she told us that her daughter is trans and she (though not the daughter) lives in the county.
That’s another important thing that can happen. Making connections.
Shifting the Narrative: Responding to Anti-Trans Talking Points with Power
We’ve all been there: ambushed by a so-called “conversation” that’s really a trap. Maybe it’s online. Maybe it’s at a family dinner. Maybe it’s under a post where you poured your heart out. These aren’t good-faith discussions — they’re performances. Meant to provoke. Designed to drain.
Clever one-liners can shut someone down. But shifting the story takes more. It takes truth. It takes heart. It takes knowing that the real win isn’t the argument — it’s the audience.
On Being a Woman-Passing Non-Binary Person
This isn’t a manifesto. It’s a story on what it means to live in a body that tells the world a different story than what you truly feel in your soul. It’s about feeling unseen in your own skin, and living in the gap between visibility and erasure.
Most of the time, I get called “mba or bu” (sister or ma’am in Indonesian), or grouped with “the girls”, and honestly I always just let it pass. Why? Because I’m not sure how to correct them without making things awkward …
Are Trans Rights a U.K. Middle-Class Issue?
It’s the exact same story with the likes of Steven Crowder, Ben Shapiro, and every other right-wing culture warrior who crusades against trans people.
All of the major figures in the anti-trans movement are either incredibly wealthy to the tune of millions or they come from an otherwise extremely privileged background. Now, I’m not aware of any major working class transphobes but even if there were, the anti-trans movement is incredibly financially rewarding. Hence, in my opinion, it runs counter to the idea that they can be working-class or underdogs in any meaningful way.
The Patriarchy Has a Secret Weapon: Women.
The patriarchy has been attempting to claw back to traditional femininity for a long time. They long to return to an age of abundant traditional, subservient, breedable, white (or sufficiently white-adjacent) women. No matter that the “traditional” housewives of the 1950s, whose aesthetic has been borrowed and glorified as part of the modern tradwife movement, were famously miserable.
Ultimately, the patriarchy is aligned with the greater white supremacist goal of repopulating the world with white babies and returning to a perceived golden era of women being men’s possessions. And vilifying trans women is a great way of blinding women to this agenda.
* Poetry Picks *
I Was Never Yours to Define: A Heartbreak in Five Acts (a poem)
… I write my name in rivers,
In letters you don’t own.I carry fire unspoken,
A light you tried to shade.
But even in your silence,
The truth refused to fade.
The Pretzel Tree: A queer Metaphor poem
… Do not eat from this tree,
do not pick the deadly fruit,
harmful to our environment
and not meant for human consumption.Plant lovely concepts,
fresh from the seeds of understanding, …
That’s it for this week!
Courage to all of you! Keep resisting, reading, shining your love, and sending your stories to Prism & Pen.
We need you all!
