Coming Out Via The Method Of Queer TV Crushes
Before I could use accurate language, I could communicate by crush
Like most people, I’ve had many TV and movie crushes over the years, with every single one of them being a woman. I don’t remember the name of my very first TV crush or the show that she was on, only that I was around six years old and, to paraphrase Marge Simpson, I just thought she was neat. All I wanted in the whole world was to meet this woman. I remember she wore a lot of suits and was very confident, I wanted to grow up to be her but also fancied her, without knowing what that meant. By and large, my tastes haven’t really changed!
The next significant ones that I remember are Eliza Dushku as Faith in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Alyssa Milano in Charmed. I had posters and pictures of them both all over my bedroom as a young teenager, even before I was out and before I was honest about why. This meant I also felt the need to balance it out, so I also had posters of David Boreanaz as Angel on my walls. I didn’t particularly want those ones, but what’s a little gay to do?
When I did feel ready to come out to one or two friends, I wasn’t comfortable using big, scary, grown-up words like gay and lesbian, so instead I used my crushes. Rather than telling a friend that I thought I might be gay, I told him…
