Defending My Gay Crushes on Straight Men
Let’s give ourselves a little grace
Published in
9 min readJun 17, 2024
Nearly every gay man I know has fallen for a straight guy at least once or twice. But is this inevitable, or cause for alarm? When does it become a pattern? Is it harmful, or are there innocent ways to justify it?
In a recent article, I wrote briefly about a romantic meet-cute I had in the park in Brooklyn with a bisexual/questioning man napping in the grass:
A writer friend of mine said he was hit hard by my assertion that —
I let the dynamic go on longer than I should’ve, because I kept telling myself our platonic affection was better than anything I could ever hope to find in a gay bar.
Then we had a really vulnerable discussion when my next article depicted another relationship I had with a bi/questioning guy at a summer theatre:
