Drawing Trans Lines, Celebrating Queer Family, Sharing Love
Prism & Pen Weekly Digest, 12 October 2025
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How do you respond when leading thinkers tell you as a member of a minority that debating your worth in society is the “right kind” of civil discourse? Today, dives deep into that question. Part of the answer, of course, is that we share our love and lives — like does with his gay adoption story. Psychotherapist reminds his gay clients (and the rest of us!) that throwing trans people under the bus won’t save anybody. And reminds us that even that even though Freddy is back for Halloween, the film isn’t over yet!
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* P&P Highlights *
Being Trans & Drawing the Line
You’ve likely heard about a recent interview between Ezra Klein and Ta-Nehisi Coates. Over the couple weeks since it aired on a major podcast, it’s been widely discussed.
At its core, it’s about taking a long-term approach to address political threats to the most vulnerable. It asks: given racist and anti-trans persecution in the United States today, to what extent and in what manner we should try to persuade people when we work for change?
… I don’t think any of us can casually make up the answer alone. I think we have to build the answer together. And we have to get it right.
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Gay Parents Adopting in the Midwest: How It Started.
I’m a first-generation college student with a tragically stereotypical coming-out story. In my early, mid-twenties, I eventually meet the most incredible guy. We get married. Coming into adulthood, I wanted to create something I never had. I wanted stability. I wanted to be happily married. And I wanted to be a dad.
Growing up gay in Indiana in the 1980s, this aspiration seemed like a wild pipe dream. The AIDS crisis filled the nightly news and became my first introduction to queer identity. By high school, Matthew Shepard’s murder made it clear: being who I was could be a death sentence.
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Who Does the Monster Represent if the “Final Girl” is a Gay Boy?
Last November felt like the end of A Nightmare on Elm Street — the sun was shining, and everyone was hopeful… and then at the last minute, a finger-blade glove broke through the window and grabbed us by the throat…
Horror movies are cathartic because they let us confront our worst fears without putting us in any real danger. Except right now, many of us are in real danger… and our bullies don’t take their make-up off between takes.
We all have the resilience and courage of a final girl. But there’s no pride in being the last one standing. The heroes always outnumber the monster.
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When Gay Men Forget Who Their Real Enemy Is and Forget Trans Rights
My client kept talking about his weekend. The new gym. How good life is now that he’s out, stable, finally allowed to exist without the constant fight.
I asked him, “Do you think about trans rights much?”
He glanced at his phone. “Honestly? Not my battle. I’ve got enough going on.”
I felt that clench in my throat. Not surprise — recognition. I’ve sat across from dozens of men who’ve said some version of this. Men who survived homophobia themselves.
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* Writing Prompt *
As Library Shelves Empty, Let’s Shout Out Queer Books & Other Art!
PEN America is an advocacy organization run by U.S. authors. Founded over 100 years ago, the group now delivers a dystopia warning. Never before have so many books been banned in so many libraries — school libraries and everyday public libraries.
Here are some specific writing ideas:
- What books helped influence and shape YOU? How? Got a story?
- What books do you want to recommend? Let’s see your reading list!
- What about toxic effects of book bans? Got a story to share about how a book ban harmed you, a family member, or a friend?
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* Essays & Creative Non Fiction *
Trans Woman Cries Before Bedtime, Tea Time, and Any Other Time
I have strong feelings… a lot of them these days, and sadly not all positive. Reading of the awful actions being perpetrated against trans people by some groups in our societies, the considerate attributes I list above appear to be in extremely short supply. Speaking of supply, I’ve read more than one essay suggesting we should put estrogen in the water so others might be able to calm the fuck down!
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Imagine You’re 19 on the European After-Hours Gay Scene
It’s 2015. Or maybe 2016? Who knows? I don’t. Like a G6 by Far East Movement starts playing. You see a few familiar silhouettes, coloured by red lights, scattered across the tiny dance floor. Some are smoking. Nobody is talking to each other. Everyone is swaying in solitude, in their own little world. It’s still early.
From the moment you walk through the door, you’re in the middle of it. I’m sure you know some people whose living rooms are bigger than this space. In the corner of the dance floor, behind a small bar, there’s a corridor.
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Is Hasan Piker Right About Kamala Harris and Trans Rights?
So Hasan Piker has been doing the rounds again… In a September 30 livestream, Hasan said that although he voted for Kamala Harris, he sees her as surrendering trans rights, and he maintains that trans people would face problems under Democratic leadership similar to what they’re facing under Trump. His criticism has caused a stir online.
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No More Conversion Therapy, I’m a Lesbian: An Apology to My First Love
Dear Ines,
You were not someone I had planned for, but instead, were the person my story sorely needed.
You didn’t deserve the cruelty my caring for you caused, and I will always be sorry for how our chapter ended in tragedy.
The sickness of those who chose bigotry over understanding was toxic and poisoned us, as did the meds taken to numb the pain.
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When Your Bisexual Identity Is Treated Like a Phase
Ever felt too queer for straight spaces, too straight for queer ones?
Welcome to the bi-world! Bisexuality isn’t confusion, it’s clarity — but the world still insists on erasing it.In my case, it looks like invisibility. Most of my friends just treat me as another straight woman. Conversations default to heteronormative, and questions come preloaded:
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Transgender ‘Why Nots’ and ‘Maybes’
When they entered the room, they heard the child laughing and giggling as he heaved a shovel full of manure onto another pile. Confused, the scientist asked the little boy why he was so happy. The boy responded:
“With all of this manure, there has to be a pony somewhere!”
So, remember that with all of this shit, there has to be a pony somewhere.
I am grabbing a couple of sugar cubes to go find it.
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A Solo Transgender Road Trip in 2025
I’d been planning and putting off a visit to friends and family in the Pacific Northwest for at least 10 years. My last trip had been somewhat fraught as it turned out to be the last time for my wife to see the ocean. At the time, she was several years past the date we thought cancer would take her life. I drove from Salt Lake City to Portland where I stayed for a night. In the morning I picked her up at the airport for a shorter drive to the coast. By then, she had nearly 100 chemotherapy sessions, three surgeries, and a hospital stay fighting sepsis.
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A Queer Night of Bhangra, Drag, and Hidden Asian Love in London
My friend, an incredible gay South Asian man and drag queen, had begged me to come. He wanted me there to support him. I was hesitant. I had always been wary of my own community. This was the same world where I’d been judged, whispered about, even bullied.
And yet… I said yes.
The room I walked into pulsed with a kind of life I had never been part of before. The bass thumped through the floor and into my chest, alive with the infectious rhythm of Bhangra beats and the sharp slap of dhol drums.
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As Summer Fades, So Does My Libido
Men don’t have hormonal cycles like women. Testosterone and sperm are produced throughout the year, rather than on a periodic basis.
Other researchers beg to differ. They consider male hormones to be regulated on a seasonal basis. For example, men are more sexual in the spring and summer when their libido and testosterone levels rise.
Several studies indicate that testosterone levels may be higher in the fall, peaking in December, and lower in the late winter and spring.
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Two Amazing Queer Books Everyone Should Read
In response to the recent writing prompt from Prism & Pen, I thought it would be a good idea to write a piece on some of the best queer books that I’ve read. We all know about the efforts in the US to ban books and go after art that is queer-themed, and this is obviously as good a time as any to celebrate such brilliant art.
Thankfully, there are tonnes of great queer books to choose from, and as someone who reads pretty much every single day, I’ve come across some really great queer books that I wanted to discuss here and, hopefully, get some people interested in them.
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Look out! Powers That Be Warn that Trans People Will Take Your Stuff!
Fear is a major motivator. Powerful people know this. Autocrats have long used fear effectively to manipulate the masses into subservience and compliance. It invariably begins with othering, pointing an accusatory finger at the strange, the unknown. When others seem different and odd, it’s easy to make up stories about them for the purpose of fomenting fear and distrust.
Fear of lack is another big one. And, as the powers that be are all too aware, human nature inclines us to be afraid that whatever someone else gets is something we’ll be deprived of.
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A Trans Woman Waves a Flag for Those Less Ambitious
Before I became a trans woman, back when I thought I knew it all, I would offer up the benefits of ambition to help family and friends recognize their untapped potential.
‘If only you could see what you could be’, I would exclaim.
It became quite usual for me to remonstrate with them at family gatherings, usually after a quantity of alcohol, and point out in some less than skillful way ...
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Charlie & Rachel: The “G” in LGBTQ
Rachel: This could be very long, or very short…
Charlie: Let’s see how it goes.
Rachel: So, Charlie, we’re talking “G” for Gay today, and I guess for both of us, being ’80s and ’90s kids, that was a pejorative word first and foremost?
Charlie: Yes, it was still a very taboo subject. The term “Gay” where I came from was used as a derogatory term for the most part.
Rachel: I remember “Gay boy” and “Don’t be gay” thrown around with casual abandon.
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Yelling at My Therapist Taught Me What Queer Anger Really Sounds Like
I snapped back, angry, so sick of being told it was all in my head:
“I have a literal upper airway collapse and endometriosis, amongst other things. They cut me open and removed it multiple times. So yes, I know my mental health affects my fibromyalgia and nerve pain, but it is not all psychological!”
The therapist was caught off guard and pivoted, but I was already angry, a wound torn open wide.
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Arcane Season 2: Queer Love as Resistance
Arcane is a steampunk-fantasy animated drama on Netflix (2021–2024) from Christian Linke and Alex Yee (Riot Games × Fortiche). It unfolds between two linked cities: Piltover — a gleaming hub of order — and Zaun, the rebellious undercity built on survival and revolt. The world runs on Hextech, the show’s signature invention: arcane crystals engineered like power sources to drive tools, prosthetics, and weapons. Season 1 follows Hextech’s rise, the shattering of two sisters from Zaun — Vi and Powder (who becomes Jinx) — and the insurgency that exploits that fracture.
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The David Bowie Album that Opened the Door to My Future
As I and my bandmates sat, stoned and mesmerized by the music and the production, Jac circulated the “Hunky Dory” album cover, featuring the artist in a hand-tinted portrait. It seemed evident that, by now, Bowie had made a total commitment to androgyny, posing melodramatically, a la Lauren Bacall-meets-Greta Garbo.
It was at that moment, listening to this impeccable song suite and gazing upon David Bowie’s distinctly feminine visage that I finally came to know myself as my real self.
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I Know It’s Over: Queer Love Withers On The Bloom
The midnight hour arrives in a desolate part of a foreign country, cloaking me from civilisation in the bible blackness of night. The rain has finally stopped drumming on the steel frame of the prefab holiday cottage, allowing me a moment’s silence to grieve.
In hallowed hush, I sit forlornly with knees up to my chest in contemplation. My feelings are about to be buried in a twin bedroom, barely bigger than two coffins side by side. Withered are the emotional roses being tossed over the caskets of something.
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Mental Health, Identity, and the Quiet Pain of Being Different
It’s World Mental Health Day, and as I write this I hope to remind us all that behind every smile, every post, every carefully filtered story, there are people quietly holding things together, often by a thread.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about a young woman whose life ended too soon. She was harassed, mocked, and beaten for how she looked and carried herself, simply for existing outside of what others decided was “acceptable.” Her story still lingers in my mind.
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Queer Gaming, an Appreciation of Queer Art
Inspired by the recent Prism & Pen writing prompt, I wanted to give my take on some video games that feature positive depictions of queerness. The topic of queer games is something I’ve covered briefly a couple of times, such as when I talked about the backlash to Dragon Age: The Veilguard, but I wanted specifically to cover some depictions of queer identities and relationships in games that I really liked, purely to celebrate them.
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* Fiction Shorts *
The Steep Cost of Hubris: Athena and Myrmex
Some years passed by, and Athena found herself wholeheartedly, blindly devoted to Myrmex, impassioned by a love she thought she would never know. The skies of her mind were clouded with lust, but all she could see was rays of sun. Myrmex grew prouder, brandishing her lover like a trophy she had won, evidence of her ultimate superiority. She was clever, she was poised, and she was beautiful; Myrmex held the world in her hands, yet still she wanted for more.
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* Poetry Picks *
A PACK A DAY — a poem
You smoked a pack of cigarettes
outside the club every weekend
I took one pull from each
while talking about
lung cancer statistics
and you said loneliness is
as deadly as a pack a day
it evens out since we’re together–
inside the club it’s hot and
too much but …
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