I Want to Dress Queer But I Never Do It
Society still has a problem with visible queerness
Mostly, I wear orthodox masculine clothes and mostly blue. Sometimes that’s all it takes for gay, white men like me to just blend in and recede safely into the background. Sometimes, it’s just easier that way.
But I drink pink cocktails, cackle raucously, and I love pop songs by Ariana Grande. And society loves me for it.
When I want to, I can nearly completely fit into traditional heteronormativity. I get to code white and male and all the privilege that comes with it. But, I also get to sideline that identity to access spaces and conversations that straight, cis men don’t.
They’re not for the girls like I am.
I can talk about boys and makeup with the girls. When I meet new people, I broadcast being gay. That’s not offensive in the liberal urban circles where I can thrive. A slightly higher pitch voice, drop a subtle line about an ex-boyfriend and we’re off to the races.
Having a gay friend is all the rage as long as that friend still fits within the predefined contours of masculine appearance — not too queer, just a little. That’s the line I straddle.
I know my gayness signals to women that I won’t pursue them sexually and therefore I’m…
