My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?
Freedom! How My Queerness Changed How I Express Myself
After overcoming a desperate need to just fit in
Before I was finally diagnosed as transgender, I tortured myself almost every day, most of my life, with one question:
“What is wrong with me?”
I was forced to restrain my gender from birth. The psychological force needed to suppress my gender and build these massive walls of denial came from the society I grew up in, the flood of testosterone in my body and my desperate need to just fit in.
It took 60 years of emotional erosion to wear away the psychological prison walls that that kept these parts of me repressed and locked away for so long.
The walls were very thick.
All my life I felt out of sync with the world around me. My strict baby boomer, binary education kept me locked in my male persona until finally the building pressure in my soul screamed:
Enough!!!
Gender dysphoria was the alarm bell that told me that something was wrong, desperately wrong and I finally sought help. Until that moment, I lived a “normal” male life with all the…
