My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?
How Safe Is Being Me? Being a Lesbian Slows Down How I Express Myself.
At the doctor’s office and at the beach on my honeymoon.
It never fails. I go to the doctor; they ask the routine questions we females get.
“Are you sexually active?” — Yes
“Are you partnered?” — Yes
“Is there any chance you may be pregnant?” — Well, no, it would be miraculous if I am.
“So you aren’t sexually active?” — Yes, I am with my wife.
“Oh. Right. You wouldn’t be pregnant then.” — I fake the same smile every time a doctor reaches their conclusion.
My file states I identify as a lesbian and that I have a spouse. Still, it never fails that we go through that round of questions, and I have to explain one of the most fundamental parts of my life: that I do, in fact, know there is no chance I’m pregnant.
The problem exists beyond doctor’s offices.
In everyday interactions, everyone around me is still defaulting to heteronormative assumptions. The wedding ring on my finger prompts questions about my “husband.” The never-ending boy-meets-girl…
