How to Tackle Homophobia, One Patient Conversation At a Time
How patient and courageous conversations opened a friend’s heart and has rippled out to others
Homophobia can surface many different feelings — fear, hurt, anger, disappointment, or past trauma. It can make some want to fight and others withdraw. All feelings and their reactions are natural.
This is a personal story of how one relationship in my life transformed through a series of conversations that were both courageous and patient. It isn’t to suggest that this is the best or only way to tackle homophobia.
Different situations will require continued protesting, writing, calling people out, or walking away. My sense is that we will each find the ways that work or are safe for us.
I didn’t walk away
When I came out at thirty, I was blessed to meet with love and acceptance from most people in my circle. I only received homophobic reactions from two people.
The first was a former colleague whom I determined was not a healthy person to keep in my circle at the time. I drew a boundary and we drifted apart.
The second, a childhood friend whom I’ll call “Andrew,” was and is one of the closest people in my life. Our…
