It’s A Sad State of Affairs When Emotions Become Gendered Things
The fear of being perceived as weak hides even fear itself
I glued myself to a movie tonight. As the sun cast longer and longer shadows through the grimy bay windows I slowly became part of my couch. The shadows gave way to night, and a firm sense of reality along with it.
Nearly two hours into the movie the cast of the film clapped. Over-joyous they were, in their moment of impossible achievement! The pent up tension on screen bubbled over with emotion like the melodic notes of a guitar solo.
And then, I clapped too.
Physically. I clapped. So enthralled, I was no longer on the couch. I was right there in the film, right along side the cast. I was gutted by the betrayal they felt too. Bloodied from their battles. Totally immersed, whilst suspended IRL, I became a living, breathing, feeling proxy for my body momentarily riveted on the couch.
I was so emotionally involved that I had been writhing along with the plot for the better part of an hour. Pillows fallen to the floor, blanket not exactly covering my toes anymore.
As their immediate terror was lifted in the most glorious of ways, the cast of the film clapped. As their emotion and celebration bubbled over, mine did…
