Learning to Deal with Vulnerability While Learning To Be a Woman

My transition journey

Dark streets are on one of my new fears. https://unsplash.com/@mateuszklein

The hardest lesson I have had to learn as I continue my transition journey from living as a man to living as a woman is vulnerability. I never felt it as a man, but I am feeling it constantly as a woman.

I feel that vulnerability in so many ways.

I feel vulnerable to women when:

• I choose my clothes. Do I look stupid?
• I choose my makeup. Does my face look too male?
• I walk down the street. Do I pass?
• I walk in a woman’s clothing store. Do I look like a freak?
• I go to a woman’s bathroom. Will I be verbally attacked?

I feel vulnerable around men:

• If a man on the street clocks me as transgender and decides to verbally or physically challenge me.
• Even worse when I walk past a group of men. Being transgender woman is worse than being cisgender woman. Gay bashing is a popular sport for some guys. Transgender bashing brings a whole new element to the sport.

I feel vulnerable for all the reasons any cisgender women would:

• Walking down the street dealing with unwelcome sexual comments or advances.