Jan 29
LGBTQ Current Events as Bad 90s Flashbacks: Outing, HIV, and God’s Curses
Prism & Pen Weekly — January 29, 2023
by James Finn
This week, several Prism & Pen stories feel to me like fevered 90s flashbacks. Forced outings, supposed divine wrath, and politicians choosing not to fund HIV/AIDS treatment are all in the news. P&P’s queer writers have plenty to say about the headlines.
We also bring you gay humor from Arthur Keith and another spicy chapter of John Cormier’s meth/sex addiction memoir. And here’s a special shoutout to new contributors Luwa Adebanjo and Nicole Anderson. Both bring important perspectives to Prism & Pen. Scroll down to their debut stories and show them some love?
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— Editor’s Picks —
Do Schools Really Need to be Safe Spaces for Queer Kids?
Years ago, in his role as a psychiatrist, Danni was part of a group developing protocols for access to gender-affirming medical care. He writes that his discomfort with that process helps lead him to oppose school staff outing teenage transgender students to their parents. Such mandates are very popular this year among conservative state lawmakers, but even some liberal parents have expressed support. Here, Danni directly addresses those liberal parents:
All the kids at school are going through a version of the same thing, and in some way, they all understand each other using a secret language we adults have long forgotten.
Sometimes schools will actually be less safe for kids than their homes, less accepting, which makes it even more confusing for supportive parents who are invited late for the party. Parents feel marginalized because their kids are actually marginalizing them. That’s a normal and ultimately necessary part of adolescent development. The media conversation, promoted by a polarizing political movement, seems to have distorted this dynamic to be about schools vs parents. Don’t be fooled by that.
Hey Tennessee, Rejecting Federal HIV Funding Ain’t Christian!
If debates about involuntary outings feel like bad 90s flashbacks, so does state HIV/AIDS apathy. If you thought government indifference to AIDS died with Ronald Reagan, this story about Tennessee turning away critical treatment money should shock you. Sadly, outside LGBTQ/Poz communities, this cruel news has barely made headlines. As people continue to die needlessly…
“Public health crisis” is not an exaggeration. Over 20,000 people in Tennessee are HIV positive. Of those, 2,800 of them don’t know they are positive. 2,800 people could be passing on the virus and needlessly prolonging the epidemic. In fact, Tennessee counts among a small minority of U.S. states where new infection rates are climbing instead of falling.
“God Curses” Gay People, Claims Church of England Historian Lee Gatiss
Gov. Lee of Tennessee, who drove the decision to turn away HIV funding, constantly calls himself a “strong Christian,” making his reluctance to care for sick people odd until you realize most of them are queer. In this story, Esther exposes the anti-queer vitriol of a prominent Christian thinker whose hateful words about gay people help normalize hateful acts by Christians like Gov. Lee. In my opinion, society should be long past Gatiss’s ugly sentiment, which also feels like a fevered flashback.
Gatiss claims “God curses” LGBTQ+ people and relationships.
Recently, after years of deliberation, the CofE left LGBTQ+ Christians out in the cold again. In trying to find a compromise, they decided to allow blessings of same-sex couples in churches, while refusing to actually marry them.
Gatiss believes even this goes too far.
He calls queer love “sinful love” and says it “will lead to death.”
— Essays and Creative Nonfiction —
16-Year-Olds Can’t Change Gender Markers? They Can Join the U.K. Army.
The U.K. government recently struck down Scotland’s Gender Reform Bill, the first time the U.K. government has blocked legislation from Scotland… I’m not sure why Keir Starmer or anyone would say 16 is too young to change your gender marker… Surely, if 16 is too young to be able to know or change your gender, then joining the army and potentially going to fight is a far bigger deal …
In Remembrance of My Gay Cousin Rick
I wrote this eulogy for my cousin Rick who died suddenly a short while ago. He was as confident in being gay as I was not. In my youth, he intimidated me because of this unknown secret we both carried. In those days, being gay was not discussed or admitted to among family members, let alone society at large.
Eventually it became obvious that we were both gay, and we were able, as adults, to share with each other more of who we were than we could as children.
LGBTQ and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year
NBC News reports that state-level bills “targeting LGBTQ rights and queer life” are surging as fast as violence is. 2022 had been the worst year on record for such bills, but 2023 is about to make 2022 look like child’s play. Not only are the total number of such bills rising, but their proposed scope is broadening significantly… For the first time this year in any significant way, Republican lawmakers are targeting LGBTQ adults, with transgender adults topping the list.
Being Outed as Trans to My German Relatives Turned Out To Be a Good Thing
The only part of my family I hesitated to tell were those in Germany that I was still in touch with. I’ve exchanged letters and packages with my German uncle (grandmother’s nephew) for many years, and I valued my connection with that part of my family. However, I also knew him to be a conservative man and devout in his Christian faith, so I wasn’t sure how he would take the news.
The LGBTQ Outliers Club: Glad To Be a Member
I have never liked conformity.
Maybe it’s because I have never felt like I fit in since I was a child. I grew up in the 1950’s and 60’s when conformity was the rule. That world was gender binary, ice cream choices were mainly vanilla or chocolate, and TV was black and white. People liked the simple rules and dreamed in shades of gray.
I dreamed in technicolor.
Womanly Questions: Treating a Trans Woman with Respect
Over the years, since I started transitioning, which yes, does start even before hormones, many people have asked me many questions. Some were entirely appropriate and kind, others, while meant to be respectful, were hurtful and sometimes plain inappropriate. Today I want to break down questions I have been asked over the years as a trans woman, and their effect on me. That way others can be better in the future, and be better educated.
It Hurts to Read News About Transgender People
London blocks Scottish transgender law
First transgender person executed in the US
Five killed in shooting at transgender party
Transgender influencer lands in men’s prison
Oklahoma Could Force Trans People Under 26 Years Old To Detransition Medically
Not that the transgender issue is ubiquitous. You have to follow various sources or type it into Google as a search term. But when you do just that, it makes you sick.
Everything I Wish I Could Tell My Mother
My mother and I never used to argue. I helped her raise my brothers. For 19 years, I tried to be the perfect daughter, but this summer when I came home, everything changed. No one likes living at home, but with mental health issues, everything is worse.
When I first came out to my mother, it was a sad story. She was scared I would go to hell and she told me to never get with a woman. I had hidden my sexuality for years.
Republicans Continue to Waste Public Resources on Anti-LGBTQ Hate Laws
It’s not crumbling roads and bridges, or… blah, blah, blah, you get the picture. Republicans have an expertise for ignoring pretty much every single one of the very real and urgent crises we, as a culture hanging precariously by its fingertips, face.
It seems clear that Republican voters elect their representative to introduce, debate, and ultimately pass laws that “protect” our communities from other “evils.” Transgender students participating in sports, for instance …
Children of LGBTQ+ Parents are Vipers Says “Liberty Pastor” Matt Staver
I find it illuminating that Staver calls the children of LGBTQ+ parents “vipers” here. It’s not enough to protect Christian children from drag queens and other LGBTQ+ people themselves. He says Christians must keep their children from even meeting the children of LGBTQ+ parents, because they cannot even know we exist.
People like Staver think we need to protect Christian children from the knowledge that LGBTQ+ people exist or they might realize we’re just people like them, not some boogeyman in the shadows.
Pope Francis Finally Says Homosexuality Is Not Criminal, Now He Must Act
I don’t mean to be over-the-top critical. The pope’s words yesterday are important. As an aspirational statement, they will advance love and promote good will. But it’s critical to note that Francis has never personally pushed for criminalization. He doesn’t need to stop doing something he’s never done.
He needs to stop bishops like Robert Sarah.
Pressed to explain how he might act to rein in such bishops, Francis waffled …
Blocked from Donating Blood: A Happy Coming-Out Story
There was a stillness between John and me. It felt as if the Universe held her breath. But the hold was not after a full inhalation, when the body aches to release carbon dioxide before it poisons itself. No, this was the hold after exhalation. It was the moment of peace, of clarity, of emptiness — before the body begins to inhale again and ruins the moment.
I turned my head a quarter turn as John turned his. There were no words, but as our eyes met, an understanding passed between us.
I Prefer to Live in My Thoughts: Chatting with Transgender Friends
Just last week I was chatting with some (trans) friends. It was one of the few moments in life, maybe a few minutes a year, where I was really free. Minutes in which I did not let myself be taken over by everyday life or by what I see, hear, smell or taste.
South Dakota Wants to Ban Kid-Friendly Drag Shows
It is always especially infuriating when lawmakers get together to ban what they know nothing about. It is also very revealing about the dirty little perverted imaginings that must lurk in the minds of “righteous” people who “just want to protect kids.”
My personal opinion is that kids need protection from these people …
Advice to Alzheimer’s Caregiver Newbies: Gay, Straight, & Otherwise
Much of what you experience as a caregiving partner is (or will be) frustrating, frightening, overwhelming, confusing, physically taxing, and many other difficult adjectives I could use.
But if you look closely, if you allow yourself to be calm and to sit with your emotions, you will see what lessons they are trying to teach you …
Why Trans Visibility Matters: “You Are Not Alone”
The first time the homeowner misgendered me by introducing me to her two kids as, “The lady who may be looking after the animals in the future,” I simply corrected her. “Not lady, I’m non-binary.” She said, “Oh, sorry,” and moved on. Cool. Awesome. Perfect. The kids didn’t hear this and there were a few instances of ‘she’ from them but I let it go …
I’m Coming Out (as Trans)
Coming out is such an individual experience. It’s funny that I didn’t think of it in those terms when it was finally my turn. I hadn’t spent years wishing I could be my true self out in the world. On the contrary, my dreams were focused on either being normal or not being “who I was”.
Better still, I fantasized of magically becoming the woman I felt I was destined to be. This would be a silent and hidden transformation.
Things I Don’t Like About Being Gay, or We’re Not All Flight Attendants, Mary
Being gay can be a pain in the ass. At least for half of us.
It’s kind of like when I was first engaged to my ex-wife, who is Jewish. Especially to her parent’s friends, after being introduced, behind my back, they would ask if I was Jewish. Then, embarrassingly, her parents would have to say, “no, he’s a goy.” But they came to like me anyway.
I think I’ll start with the penis, which is where most guys start …
Keir Starmer: Liar, Con Man, Enemy of LGBTQ Rights
Perhaps what is one of the more weird aspects is that Starmer’s opposition to self-id moves him to the right of former Conservative leader Prime Minister Theresa May. In her 2017 Conservative manifesto, she supported self-id. To her credit and despite all her innumerable flaws on other issues, she has remained consistent in her support. It’s a rather sad state of affairs when the supposed leader of the opposition on the left is in agreement with the right-wing.
HIDE YOUR WOMEN AND GIRL FOLK FROM TRANS WOMEN!
Don’t worry about the boys, they can protect themselves…
The world is so worried about me going to the bathroom and all I want to do is urinate safely. I am not the threat.
It’s the priests, doctors, coaches, teachers, ministers and politicians that the girls [and boys] need to be protected from.
Simply Trans, Even I Struggle With Pronouns
At my previous place of employment, I was asked to review the pronoun guidance provided by HR to all employees. I appreciated being asked, and took serious the request made of me for very obvious reasons: I was the subject. Who better to review such a document but a trans woman?! I found the approach to handling pronouns interesting. Of course, the document suggested that you ask, “what pronouns do you use?”
But interestingly, it also offered guidance on how to guess.
— Memoir —
Slammed: a Memoir
In the last week’s chapter of his gripping meth/sex addiction memoir, John described an epiphanous sexual encounter with a stranger that led to tears and unexpected tenderness. Now, in the aftermath, that stranger offers John a gift that might be salvation or might be a road trip to hell.
The rude clock raced toward checkout time. Much as I wanted to stay snuggled in bed, our brief time together was coming to an end. We begrudgingly left the bed and started cleaning up. I showered, crooning Gershwin’s They Can’t Take That Away From Me as he packed.
Just as I was bracing myself for goodbyes — accepting that this was his chance to be rid of me — he asked, “Can I take you to breakfast? My train doesn’t leave till this afternoon.”
Read: Will a Gay Meth Addict Hop a Bus and Run Away?
That’s all for Prism & Pen this week. Thanks for reading!
Writers, it’s prompt time again! That goes for readers too. Anyone who’d like to kick in about a writing theme for the next two weeks is welcome to comment under this story. Actually, I urge you to comment with prompt ideas. Coming up with good ones is not one of my strengths!
In the meantime, happy reading and I’ll see you next Sunday.
Jim
