My Queerness Changes How I Express Myself. Is that a Harmful Stereotype?

A Prism & Pen writers prompt

I’ll never forget the day I cried in front of a bunch of macho factory workers. My close friend and business partner Tim was one of them. Our production superintendent and some foremen had gathered in Tim’s office after day shift, theoretically so we could share new production strategies with them — but mostly to socialize and (shh! don’t tell anyone!) have a few beers.

I’m not sure how my dad’s ill health came up, but I was taking time off to go see him —for what I thought might be the last time. While telling the story, I wiped big tears off my cheeks, and I had to sniffle a little.

The looks of shock! Like I’d violated the Man Box social compact. Our superintendent looked positively scandalized before he slammed his beer and hurried out.

Later, when we were alone, Tim put his arm over my shoulder and said, “Don’t worry about it. They all know you’re gay, so I’m sure they expect you to be over-emotional. They’ll get over it … or they can find someplace else to work.”

I had to laugh! Tim’s a great guy, especially when he’s learning to support trans people, but that message was mixed as hell. Of course, I’m used to the stereotype of gay men being TOO emotional, and frankly…