My Teenage Homophobic Frenemy
A coming-of-age reflection on how fear and bias can stand in the way of exploring genuine friendships
Every queer kid has some experience with homophobia and homomisia from their childhoods. Usually, it follows us into our teenage years. It may very well become more intense during adolescence.
As a gay Millennial who survived the 1990s, I keep reflecting upon puberty. My hormones. My insecurities. My mood swings. My evolving awareness of my queer identity while sprouting into an older teenager.
Paging through bizarre, bittersweet nostalgia, one of my many classmates keeps returning to my memories. His name was John. He represents the archetype of passive adversity that queer youth so commonly encounter.
His personality
John and I knew each other from the age of five. Of course, I use the term “knew” loosely, here. I honestly don’t recall interacting with him much, if at all, in Mrs. Dressler’s Kindergarten classroom.
As I’ve written about elsewhere, I was shy to the point of being antisocial. I had no interest in making friends. For me, school was a necessary evil meant to be boring and uneventful.
