Dismantling Misconceptions

Reframing the Narrative: A Queer Take on Homophobia

Embracing the opportunity to educate and create allies from innocent misunderstandings

Nathan Chen
Prism & Pen
Published in
6 min readJun 24, 2023

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Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, or in my case, a single question, usually asked in the middle of dinner or family gatherings by a well-meaning relative or acquaintance. So let’s dive into this roller-coaster ride of navigating through sometimes ignorant and subtly homophobic questions.

The Initial Shock of Ignorance

Have you ever had your grandpa, over a Sunday brunch, casually ask you, So, when did you decide to be gay? It’s like asking someone when they decided to have brown eyes. It’s these moments that make me pause and realize how misunderstood the concept of sexual orientation is for older generations.

I’ve often come across people who might unintentionally make homophobic comments or ask offensive questions. However, I’ve learned that it’s usually not malicious, but rather a lack of understanding or familiarity with the LGBTQ+ community. And here’s the thing: I don’t mind it. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’d love for people to be more informed, but I’m not one to take offense.

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Nathan Chen
Prism & Pen

I'm Nathan Chen, a queer Asian writer advocating for LGBTQ+ issues, Asian representation, work life & mental health. Let's explore life's complexities together!