Straight from the Heart: My Journey into 2SLGBTQ+ Awareness
2SLGBTQ+ — Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning and additional sexual orientations and gender identities.
This Journey started in early 2017 when I binge-watched the Australian TV show “Please Like Me,” starring comedian Josh Thomas. The show revolves around the life of Josh, a young man in his early twenties, as he navigates the challenges of relationships, family, and self-discovery.
The fact that Josh is gay is chronicled as just being part of him. It was the first time I saw a gay character portrayed in this way. All previous efforts I had seen made a big deal about the character being gay, and this show made it just part of him—the way it would be in real life. I saw Josh fall in love with other men and struggle through romantic and platonic relationships, and it hit me.
“Gay Love is just Love.”
Many of you might look at me and say, “Well, Dinah, thanks for stating the obvious!” Why was this a moment I still remember to this day?
We need some background on me to dig into that further.
A Heteronormative Upbringing
I had a pretty heteronormative public school upbringing in a house with a Christian mother and agnostic father, where religion was rarely brought up one way or another. That all changed when I moved from public school to a private Mennonite Brethren High School in grade 8. My parents didn’t think I was getting a good enough education at the public school, and this Mennonite school was an affordable private school with a good reputation. My mom also happened to have a Mennonite background. So it fit for us.
I did get an excellent education there. However, I also got indoctrinated into the Mennonite belief system. Within a year of going there, I was a regular church attendee and, at 16, was baptized into the church.
Why do I tell you this? Why does it matter? My thinking at that age was very malleable, shaping my belief system.
In the Mennonite Brethren belief system, dancing is a sin, never mind pre-marital sex. The Mennonite Brethren Church puts a big guilt trip on you anytime you sin. The consequences seem out of proportion to a teenage mind and very, very scary. Marriage was the only way to have sanctioned sex, and Marriage was only to occur between a Mennonite man and a Mennonite woman. Anything outside of this was blasphemy. (Seriously, they refused to marry my sister as her husband had a Catholic background.)
This leads those in the church to believe that same-sex relationships are also a sin. I don’t remember the church ever coming out and saying this; however, simple logic leads you to this answer. A man could love another man, and a woman could love another woman, but if they had sex, that was a sin because they weren’t married. But also they weren’t allowed to get married. And if you couldn’t get married, it would always be a sin.
I honestly don’t know if I ever believed that same-sex relationships were a sin. I think it was something I ignored. I didn’t personally know anyone who was openly not straight, so it just didn’t come up, and I didn’t dwell on it.
A Loving and Accepting Family
On the flip side, I was brought up in a family where the example was that we love everyone. We don’t discriminate against anyone. We can disagree with them and have different belief systems, but we don’t treat people differently because of what they believe, who they love, or the colour of their skin.
These two belief systems didn’t jive, and I spent most of my 20s figuring out what I believed and ultimately left those religious beliefs behind. Over that time, I went to university and then graduate school. In 2004, I entered the workforce as a software developer and learned what it was like to be a minority as a Woman in Tech. I learned how to speak out for myself and other women and started to look at the world differently. I began to educate myself on different minority groups and their plight. I read a lot about feminism, racism, and Indigenous issues. I knew I had a lot to learn.
The Journey Begins
So, when I watched “Please Like Me,” I thought I was a pretty open-minded progressive person. Watching that TV show revealed that while I intellectually knew “Love is Love,” I hadn’t emotionally believed it until that moment. I had not internalized it. I got the same feelings watching Josh fall in love with his male partner as when I watched a heterosexual couple fall in love in a romantic comedy. It was a profound realization for me. It made me realize I had work to do. I needed to normalize 2SLGBTQ+ relationships in my world.
I started looking for TV shows where 2SLGBTQ+ individuals were part of the ensemble of characters without being explicitly called out in a negative context or "othered" by the other characters. I prefer shows where they are portrayed as part of the series rather than being the main focus. Representation matters, people. It does. Here are some of my favourite 2SLGBTQ+ TV Shows:
- Heart Stopper — This also comes as a fantastic set of graphic novels https://aliceoseman.com/heartstopper/
- Sex Education — I love the characters in this show!
- Atypical — This show has an excellent mix of LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent characters.
- Never Have I Ever — This is another fun high school drama where the characters represent people from all walks of life.
- Love on the Spectrum—The original show was in Australia. It features neurodivergent people dating. Some of the people are part of the LGBTQ+ community. There is no other show that makes me feel so joyful after watching it than this one.
Digging Deeper
Last summer, I noticed that many more people of my daughter’s generation identified as 2SLGBTQ+. I wanted to ensure I understood and could support her and her friends regardless of their identification. I asked a non-binary friend for a list of books that would continue and deepen my education. Here are some books I read last year, most recommended by my friend.
This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson
I LOVED this book. It was funny but so educational. I learned so much. Everyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexuality, should read this book. It is what is missing in our children’s education. We learn all of this stuff about heterosexual couples in school and from the media, but we haven’t learned this about the 2SLGBTQ+ community. The back of the book describes the book so perfectly.
Woman World by Aminder Dhaliwal
In this amusing graphic novel, women step up to the plate after a strange event wipes out all the men. The story tracks their journey as they rebuild society under the rallying cry of “Beyonce’s Thighs.” Along the way, they grapple with humorous throwbacks and memories from the past world while also facing more severe challenges like love and anxiety. It’s a lighthearted narrative with a unique twist!
She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick
Introducing Alex Blackwood and Molly Parker, two college students on a mission to win over their crushes. Alex is outgoing, and Molly is shy, but together, they form an unexpected alliance to navigate the complexities of love. Written by two partners, this book beautifully captures their shared love story, adding an extra layer of charm.
Ryan and Avery by David Levithan
This book beautifully captures the essence of healthy relationships and the importance of mutual respect and understanding, regardless of sexual identity. You’ll follow Ryan and Avery as they meet and fall for each other at a prom for LGBTQ+ folks. They share moments of joy, awkwardness, and heartache through ten dates. From snowy days to meeting family, their journey captures the ups and downs of teenage romance. It’s a sweet tale that shows love knows no bounds, no matter who you are.
Being Loud and Proud
I am a woman in tech who, for the first eight years of my career, chose to stay silent about the challenges I faced. I kept my head down and worked hard, fearing that acknowledging my gender might hinder my success. But everything changed when I found myself working under a misogynistic bully of a boss. That experience pushed me to start speaking up. I began blogging and publicly discussing the reality of being a woman in tech. I decided that if a company couldn’t support my advocacy, I didn’t want to work for them.
Recognizing that not all women feel comfortable speaking out, I became more aware of other marginalized groups, including people of colour and the 2SLGBTQ+ community. I stopped being afraid to use my voice. As a white, cisgender woman with a successful career, I realized I hold a position of privilege. Just as I urge men to be allies for women in tech, I understood I needed to stand up for other marginalized groups.Over the years, I’ve become increasingly vocal in my support of the 2SLGBTQ+ community. I wear pride shirts year-round, support 2SLGBTQ+ organizations, and proudly rock pride nails during Pride Month. Embracing my voice and privilege to support others is a responsibility I wholeheartedly embrace. Last summer, I hung pride wind flags on my house, and this year, I’m excited to add a new pride garden flag to my display.
Always Learning
Learning is a constant companion on this journey of mine. It’s a path I’ll tread for a lifetime. I learned something new while writing this story. I originally wrote this article using the term LGBTQ+, and my non-binary friend who reviewed it pointed out that in Canada, the term “2SLGBTQ+” is preferred. The “2S” stands for two-spirit, a term that centers Indigenous voices and acknowledges their unique identities.
If you, like me, pride yourself on being progressive and open-minded, consider delving into some remarkable TV shows or captivating books featuring strong 2SLGBTQ characters. Exposure to diverse representations can normalize 2SLGBTQ experiences and foster understanding. By engaging with narratives that reflect various identities and perspectives, we humanize those who may appear different from us, promoting acceptance and empathy.
Embracing Diversity: A Call to Action
As I wrap up this journey into 2SLGBTQ+ awareness, please take a moment to reflect on your own experiences and beliefs. Whether you’re just starting to explore these topics or have been a steadfast ally for years, there’s always room to grow and deepen your understanding. Watch those shows, read those books, and immerse yourself in stories celebrating 2SLGBTQ+ lives. Representation matters — seeing and understanding different perspectives helps build a more inclusive world.
Commit to learning and unlearning, to standing up and speaking out. Whether through small acts of kindness, vocal support, or educating yourself and others, every effort counts. Normalize love in all its forms. Support your 2SLGBTQ+ friends, family, and colleagues during Pride Month and every single day. Let’s create a society where everyone can be authentic without fear or prejudice.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. Let’s keep moving forward, straight from the heart, toward a future of acceptance, empathy, and love for all.
