The Mystique of Being Gay Is Gone

I’m starting to feel my age

When gay guys gather, they’re usually having fun…or having sex. I left my “gay hometown” several years ago, and I’m still not really part of a group. Without any prior history together, it is difficult to break into tight-knit groups. Photo by Miramiska on Adobe Stock.

Age is beginning to catch up to me.

I came out of the closet in 1998 when I was 40, and decided to reset my clock and start my life at 40 as if I were 20.

Now that I’m in my mid-60s, in gay years, I’m in my upper 40s.

But I’m not like the other gay guys who are somewhere in their 40s.

I see them. In magazines. On Facebook and Instagram. And on the hookup apps.

They all look like they are having an amazing time.

They’re traveling — all over the world! In some cases, they have big groups that travel together. It looks like they’re having a blast.

Call me a bit jelly.

I did that when I was in my 40s. I traveled, went to the best bars and restaurants, and generally had the most fabulous life I could afford.

That is not what is happening right now.

I’m 67 now. And I have regrets.

My children were approaching their teen years when I was divorced. They needed me more than ever; they just didn’t know it.

I knew it, and I chose to ignore it.

Oh, I would always be there for the obligatory visits and events. My ex-wife had…