The One Thing I Couldn’t Change About Myself After Coming Out
I walk this Earth with a pair of scissors behind my back
My coming out was fairly gradual. I told my best friends, separately, over the span of a year or so, then I told my brother and cousin, and later to the rest of my friends and family. The entire process took three or four years. I was in high school when I started coming out and I had just finished my first year of university when I could consider myself fully out.
There was no real finish line, to be honest though. If I had to pick one it would be when I told my crush at the time. I had come out to quite a few people already but it was still a big deal to me.
Since then, I’ve changed a bit. I’ve grown more confident in myself and I’ve learned a lot thanks to all the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had. Still, there is one thing that, for some reason, I still carry with me from who I was when I was in the closet.
Ever since I realised I was queer I have had trouble trusting people fully. I remember hanging out with my peers at school and thinking: “They seem to like me now, but what if they found out? Then what? What if they’d avoid me, or worse…”. I felt this way about everyone I met really. No matter how close.
