The Royal Air Force Discharged Me for Being Gay and Scarred My Life
This is what happened
I’m Dave Moreton, an ex-Junior Technician in the Royal Air Force (RAF). This story is my personal recollection of Her Majesty’s Forces (HMF) and HM UK Government’s homophobia (HMG).
Whilst serving in Her Majesty’s Armed Forces RAF (1970-75), I was arrested, not for being gay, but because of homophobia that was rife within the Government and HMF. I was investigated for six months, after which I was discharged. I received the message loud and clear: I was undeserving of the RAF rank or uniform; I was not worthy to serve my Queen, and any honour I had in serving my country was rejected. At the same time, the church, which I was equally loyal to, denied that I could be gay and a Christian. For me, this was a double whammy, excluded from serving within HMF and within the church.
My nightmare began in July 1974.
I received a telegram ordering me to return from leave and report to the Guard Room at RAF Cranwell. Upon arrival, I was held in a cell to await investigating officers. I had no idea what was happening at this point; I was unaware of any allegations against me or for any reason for me to be imprisoned.
Eventually, I was marched to an interview room, where the initial interrogations began.
Two men wearing civilian clothes identified themselves as officers from the Special Investigation Branch (SIB). They said they were investigating me because they knew I was a ‘homosexual.’ It was made very clear that I was already considered guilty of this charge which would probably lead to a court-martial and a dishonourable discharge.
This initial interrogation lasted for around two hours. During this time, I was asked repeatedly if I was a homosexual, a queer and had sex with men. I told them that I was gay but due to religious beliefs, I felt being gay was ‘wrong.’ This attitude was a symptom of societal homophobia that was prevalent at the time, and, for the record, I no longer believe this to be true.
During the course of the interrogation, I was asked why I had accompanied a friend to the medical centre whilst stationed at RAF Rheindahlen; my friend, a fellow airman, had been suffering from crabs. I became aware that my medical record was not considered private; any appointments or contact I had with a medic were open to scrutiny and interpretation.
The passing of the Sexual Offences Act (1967) meant that I had some legal protection outside of the RAF, but this was not the case within it. I had been terrified of someone discovering that I was gay and ‘outing’ me. During this initial interrogation, I began to discover the extremes of homophobia within the RAF.
I was informed that I was not allowed to relay any of my experience of questioning to anyone else and that I would be arrested if I did. I was taken to my living quarters while two military police searched my room. They looked through personal letters and examined anything they thought incriminating. I was not shown a search warrant; they acted with impunity. I felt as if I had no rights; I was barred from calling anyone, not even my Commanding Officer or Non-Commissioned Officer. I was treated as a non-person who was incidental to events; I was unimportant.
This happened when I was twenty-one years old.
For the next three months, I watched my back. I felt as if I was under observation, which induced a feeling of paranoia. One of the Senior Investigating Officers was a member of the church that I was attending. He disclosed my sexuality to leaders within the church for ‘spiritual support.’ This increased feelings of shame in me. I was aware that my mental health was under threat but was forbidden to share this with anyone because of fear of arrest.
In September 1974, I was part of the RAF College band commissioned to record an album of music for the RAF Benevolent Fund. During this, two SIBs came into the studio. They marched me out to the guardhouse for further interrogation. This time they asked me for names. They wanted to know about anyone I had sex with, anyone in the RAF who I thought might be gay or who had come onto me. These questions were intrusive and left me feeling violated.
During the following months, my feelings of isolation increased. I was intensely paranoid, afraid to have contact with people in case it was misconstrued that I was looking at them in a strange way. I lived in fear of being reported or beaten up. I was not afraid of colleagues in the band, but there were several incidences of overt homophobia within the wider RAF base. I was regularly called ‘poof’, ‘queer’, ‘fudge packer’, ‘pillow biter’, and other homophobic slurs. These names hurt me and damaged my self-esteem. I am still dealing with the consequences of this verbal abuse to this day.
In December 1974, I was told by the senior investigating officer that I was to report to HQMS at RAF Uxbridge on January 15th, 1975, where I would be discharged from the RAF. In the meantime, I was to move from Cranwell and return home until that date. I was to return all my equipment and uniform. The officer advised me to inform my parents why I was being discharged, as it would be stated on my record.
On January 16th, 1975, I was discharged from the RAF, not because I am gay but because of institutionalised homophobia rife within The RAF and sanctioned by Her Majesty’s Government. This impacted my life directly, causing or influencing, amongst other things, unemployment, depression, suicide ideation, PTSD and a broken marriage. The primary feeling that was generated was that of shame. I felt that I was no longer valid, no longer needed.
In the end, I was not court martialed; I was discharged under QR607(22)B (Queens Regulations) — in other circumstances beyond his/her control.
After my discharge, I was afraid that my reference from the RAF would reveal my sexuality. I was scared to apply for work in case any future employer might see that I am gay and had been discharged from RAF. When I finally saw the reference from the RAF, my CO had termed my conduct as ‘exemplary’. In addition, my yearly assessments from 1970 to 1974 all said exemplary. However, anyone in the know would understand what QR607(22)B meant, and I was unable to shake the associated shame.
During the years post-discharge, I battled with suicide ideation.
Even though my sexuality was legal in civilian life, the treatment I received from Her Majesty’s Forces (HMF)left me with emotional scars, mental health problems and a sense of shame. I had signed up for five years and fully intended to increase my service until I was excluded from doing so. In the end, I did not serve for a complete five years. Therefore, I was not entitled to a pension, the Queen’s Jubilee Medal, or other commemorative royal medals. In total, I served four years and nine months.
I no longer live with the shame that this incident caused me, although I did so for most of my adult life. I have found freedom with my family and my church. I am still aware of the pain that this caused; the lack of a public apology has exacerbated this pain. For many years, the fact of my discharge precluded me from joining veterans' associations, including any welfare associations. I am now able to do so now, but those years out in the cold have taken their toll, and I continue to feel rejected by the RAF and wronged by them.
I recognise that there are potentially thousands of stories like mine, perhaps worse. Many may have been lost to the records because of time. I have been lucky to find love and support and have worked through much of the pain caused by my discharge. I believe this discharge has been calculated to undermine me and exacerbate shame. I hope that by voices like mine retelling our stories, we will create a culture within HMF that demands better treatment for those LGBTQ+ people within its ranks. They deserve better. I am certain that I deserved better.
