To Bi or Not To Bi? Confronting a Personal Grey Area, and a New Label
When your attraction experiences are murky and confusing
There is so much discourse over what is and isn’t “bisexual”. If we take the traditional and arguably increasingly out-of-date view, it’s a man or a woman who is attracted to both men and women, though not necessarily in equal measure. But what about other genders? What about non-binary people, genderfluid, agender? How come they don’t seem to count in this gender, um, binary?
Well, of course they count. It was with this huge array of gender identities and experiences at the back of my mind that I had to ask myself the question earlier this year: “Am I bisexual?”
Since I was old enough to notice girls/women, I’ve noticed girls/women. In that regard, my sexuality was never up for debate. Going through adolescence and into early adulthood, it became clear I didn’t experience that attraction in the same way every other straight boy seemed to experience it. I never had a word for it back then, but I do now: it’s demisexual (a microlabel on the asexual spectrum which means I need a pre-existing emotional bond to experience sexual attraction; this can be romantic attraction or friendship, most typically).
