What A Trans Kid Wants People to Know
Hey, there, I’m Ken, a transgender teenager.
Hey there, I’m Ken and as you can see by the title, I’m a transgender teenager. I have some things I want you to know about being transgender. Let’s get started.
1.) Being Trans is NOT a choice
Yes, it is your choice to come out as transgender, but being trans in and out of itself isn’t a choice. So many transgender people stay closeted because they know people would hate them, simply for being them. I would love to have the cisgender privilege to be able to go places without being afraid someone might be willing to hurt me simply because I am trans. I live in a pretty liberal area, but I still have been made fun of and even beaten up for being trans. I have still been RAMPENTLY misgendered and deadnamed. My relationship with my family (especially my mother) has not been the same ever since I came out. It can be very hard and even crushing at times, it isn’t something that I would wish on anyone, even an enemy.
2.) No, it isn’t your fault that I’m trans, and YES, I DO KNOW WHO I AM
(Mom if you’re reading this please skip to the next topic)
I am not running away from a previous identity because I had a lot of trauma in my childhood. I knew I was a boy instead of a girl even back then; I could just never find the words to say it. My parents fought in court and they fought HARD, which caused a lot of problems for me that I’m still working through. Even now I still have a lot of relationship problems with my parents. Truth be told, I don’t know if there are some things in our relationship that can be fixed or worked through, despite how hard I try. There was still trauma in my life even after I came out as trans and I didn’t run away from that identity. Even if my parents had a good marriage, and even if I had more friends than I did bullies in school, I WOULD HAVE BEEN TRANS REGARDLESS.
(Ok, mom I’m being serious; please skip to the next topic.)
I know my name is Ken, and I’m smart, creative, hardworking, and independent. I know that I am a transgender male …
I didn’t “run away” from being a girl because I was tired of getting my ass slapped in the hallway at school, (it still happened even after I came out) or because I was tired of guys shoving their “Pussy Destroyer” shirts in my face. (Please keep in mind I came out while I was in middle school). I did it because I knew I was a boy. I did it because I was tired of living a life where I was lying to myself.
I did it because I knew I needed to start living my truth.
One time after I came out, a “friend” of mine grabbed my chest and said, “What happened to your titties?” (Mom I told you to not read this). Another time, that same person pinned me down on the ground and got on top of me saying not-so-PG things, then touched me in places I preferred to keep to myself. I think that could be considered pretty traumatic, but I didn’t “run away” from that part of my life and “suppress it,” because I never ran away from anything in the first place.
I may not have everything about me and my life figured out, but I have the “basics” down. I know my name is Ken, and I’m smart, creative, hardworking, and independent. I know that I am a transgender male (still not so sure about sexual identity, I think it’s bisexual but still trying to figure it out) and I know that I have a good life ahead of myself. No one ever figures themselves 100%, but I know who I am, I know what I want to do, and I know who and what I love and cherish. I am not wandering around in the dark. I KNOW WHO I AM.
3.) I’m not an innocent, clueless, or naïve child.
UWU cute soft trans boi
Why the hell didn’t your parents use a condom?
Saying things like that gives power to the toxic stereotype that trans people (ESPECIALLY TRANS YOUTH) are just cute little children who can’t make decisions for themselves. I can function just fine on my own, thank you very much. I know I’m still technically a minor (I’m 15), but I could survive just fine on my own if I was suddenly dropped off into the “big, bad, scary world”. I’m not any less functional than a cisgender person might be. So please, don’t treat me as such.
4.) The use of the T-slur
This is one that I don’t like to poke and prod at too much because it’s definitely controversial, but here we go.
If you get uncomfortable when I use the t-slur because it’s a “nasty word” and you aren’t trans yourself, too bad, sucks to suck, I guess. I can use that word because it has been reclaimed from those who once used it as a term of hate and inequality. If you want to use the t-slur and you’re not trans yourself, I can’t control your free speech, just be warned there will probably be consequences. At the end of the day, it’s just a word, a word with a dark history, but it’s just a word and it won’t kill me. If someone who isn’t trans says it to my face, I don’t have the time or energy to care or make a huge deal out of it.
5. The topic of reproductive health
This is something I am admittedly somewhat passionate (Ok, a lot passionate) about. I don’t care if you are my family. I don’t care if I’m still under 18. I don’t care you “have my best interests at heart”. They are MY genitals, so STOP being so obsessed with them.
Like I said earlier, I’m not stupid. I know how to do my own research. I’ve spent hours UPON HOURS on medical websites researching, cross-referencing, double-checking, fact-checking, DOUBLE-FACT-CHECKING, to make sure I know everything I can know before I make a decision. I’m doing this for me, not you, so I don’t need your opinion on it. The only opinion I would ever want (besides my own) when deciding on my reproductive health would be the opinion of a professional doctor or my partner. (I don’t have one at the moment.) Since my reproductive health might affect my partner, I’d want their thoughts, ideas, or worries on the subject.
To simply sum up a few of my thoughts here, I want people to know that being aware of small everyday things most transgender people have to deal with can help us. Hearing our stories and understanding how differently we might be treated, hearing our experiences, will do more good than harm. There are many other transgender people out there with experiences different from mine; I encourage you to go listen to their stories too. Right now, we can let our voices be heard, and we want you to hear our voices.
