What My Dad’s Childhood Crutches Taught His Gay Son About Othering
On fallen fathers and the sons who hold them
It is always the simple things that pull you in. They take you to places you really don’t want to go, but they are places you usually need to go.
You look at the world and see suffering. Our brothers and sisters are beaten and imprisoned, cast out and brutalized, and blamed for all the ills of a world in chaos for no other reason than that we are different. The saddest part is that our difference is love.
My dad never knew me.
Difference is the thread that binds humanity together, as odd as that may sound. Of all the things we have in common, difference is universal. The self revolves around difference. From the smallest shades to the brightest primary colors, differences let us recognize one another. Unfortunately, LGBTQ people often live our lives on the shadow side of difference, as the ones separated and unseen.
As a matter of course, difference is just another characteristic, a recognition that some aspects of us are not the same. If that was as far as it went, there’d be no problem. Unfortunately, it goes beyond simple sense recognition and becomes judgement. Of the choices we have in how we engage with difference, appreciation of our…
